Chapter 38: "Storytelling"

"Hush now, this is the moment I have always dreamt of. At long last...the greatest story ever told."
"No," I shook my head. "No. You're wrong."
"Oh?"
"I see through you. You're afraid."
"Afraid?" he threw back his head and laughed. "Me, afraid? What do I HAVE to be afraid of?"
"You've already sacrificed virtually all of Blogspot just for this one battle. Therefore, it must be truly spectacular, something no one would ever forget."
"But it hasn't turned out that way, has it? All you've got are three senselessly dead characters and a cliched ending looming."
Writer remained silent.
"Let me teach you a thing or two about storytelling. Firstly, you don't kill off characters just to make things interesting - it limits your scope and wastes potential chances for further character development."
"Next, stop using ridiculously predictable lines every chance you get. Repeating the same point countless times pretty much insults the reader's intelligence. Some things are much better if they're left in uncertain "grey areas" for the reader to decipher with his or her own imagination."
"And no matter what you say, the fighting was simply a rehash of old tired scenes we've all seen before. There was no flow, no direction, no innovation in ANYTHING."
For what seemed like an eternity, nobody spoke.
"Heh heh heh heh heh." Writer started cackling. "Heh heh heh heh heh."
The pile of goo that was him turned colourless and fizzed out, leaving behind a stinking cloud of gasses. "You have insulted me for the last time, fool." A reddish demon with horns emerged. "NEVER! EVER! TEACH! ME! HOW! TO! TELL! A! STORY!"
"Tch, tch, a red demon with horns? What, you're going to start shooting flames next?"
"You aksed for it."
A wall of fire sprang from the ground, surrounding Toby, Melly and me. "Pay no attention to the flames, they're for grandeur. He won't dare hurt us with them."
Pow! A hot fist shot out of the fire and landed squarely on my jaw.
"Is this not entertaining enough? HUH?" Writer jumped out straight at me.
Fortunately I managed to get a hand up to lessen the impact. Nonetheless, it still hurt and I had to roll aside to allow the pain time to subside.
But he wasn't going to let me get away that easily. As I crawled away, he grabbed my foot and was about to stomp on it when Toby Tabbed behind him!
"Melly! Freeze Frame!" Toby yelled as he grabbed hold of Writer.
"Can you not see this is personal?" Writer rasped. "DELETE. DELETE."
I winced as Toby and Melly dropped dead simultaneously.
"Now," he glared at me with those cold black eyes. "Let us settle this one on one."