Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Tag Is Back

Pardon the cheesy title, folks.

I just ain't feeling myself today. You never do, especially after having ridiculous tags being forced upon your admirably out-of-the-ordinary blog. You know, like that time the geekish nerd-dork made you dance with him at the school prom. Or that time your dad insisted you wear his oversized swimming trunks to Poolside Nite.

Sigh...pucker up I will, anyhow. The things I do for goodwill to men, people. And it isn't even that season.

WOW, LOOK! THIS TAG'S GOT A WHOLE FREAKIN' PARAGRAPH OF RULES. IT MUST BE SO DIFFERENT FROM ORDINARY TAGS. MY MOUTH IS WATERING WITH WATER TO COMPLETE IT.

Each player of this game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. After you do that, leave them each a comment letting them know you tagged them and to read your blog.

Here we go!

1. I'm not reeeeally the biggest fan in the world of blog tags. Maybe on a good day, maybe, maybe. Just not on most days.

2. I'm probably one of the best Pacman players in the world. Yeah, like seriously. For someone with slow reflexes in pretty much everything, it never fails to amaze me.

*Or get girls screaming in excitement, wink wink*

3. My guilty little pleasure: watching wrestling. I believe I've written a freakin' thesis on the subject before here, so no explanations required. Still waiting for a chance to put those wrestling moves to good use, though. Like nabbing a snatch thief, or shutting up pesky bosses. Ha ha.

*HAR?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN WRESTLING IS FAKE? NooOoOOoooOO! MY LIFE IS...RUINED!! RUINNNNNED!!!*

4. I can never, for the life of me, participate in conversations about a) handphones, b) computers, c) cars. Which is basically 90% of what self-respecting guys blabber about. So how do I go about my manly existence? Strategically-placed nods and saying "Oh, that's the one everyone's talking about, isn't it?" works most times. 'Cos if they're talking about it, chances are it's the one everyone's talking about.

5. At home, I speak to my brother and sister in English, to my mom in English and a smattering of Cantonese, and to my dad in Mandarin. Meanwhile, everyone else speaks in Mandarin to each other, except for my mom who speaks in Cantonese to my dad. And oh, my mom calls my dad "Ei". Which is short for "Hey". Can't believe this nonsense has been going on at the same dinner table for 20+ years, without anyone realising the utter absurdity of it.

6. And, oh, oh...OH! This one's so good I gotta keep it for last.

Hold on to your seat, I'm warning ya.

Take a deep breath...

Steady, steady...

Here it comes...

Okay, one more deep breath...

There you go...

I'm not sure how to put it in words, but...

I CAN LIFT MEDIUM-SIZED OBJECTS WITH THE FLAP BETWEEN MY LOWER LIP AND MY CHIN!!

YOU WOULD NEVER, NEVER, EVER, EVER UNDERSTAND THE SHEER AMAZINGICITYNESS OF IT!!!

Far out.

And we're done.

6 people I want to torture with this tag...

Eh...

Ah...

Uh...

I'm sorry. My religious beliefs do not permit me to repay evil with evil. Therefore, my Good Deed For The Day shall be putting an end to this tag. Remember kiddos...TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

*Meanwhile, in a faraway room, another dumb blogger forwarded this tag to his 6 friends. His 6 friends passed it on to 36 friends, and yadda yadda yadda.*

Monday, February 12, 2007

Slumber (Part 2 of 10)

Yay! Received my bonus and some long-overdue freelance payment, so don't blame me for feeling rich as full cream milk. Why, I could end up a mini-millionaire after Chinese New Year!

I kid you not, this must be close to the tenth time I'm working on this entry. Just can't stay focused for longer than 2 minutes these days! Say hel-lo to attention deficit.


I want to update religiously, really I do. It's so frustrating to have stuff on my mind and not being able to translate that into a killer post. And the story! As I've always suspected, you need to keep writing, writing, writing once the idea hits. Which is exactly what I've NOT been doing. Bleargh. Let's try get this baby going, all the same.

Jenny stared at Bo, mostly dumbfounded. Was this even her stuffed dragon?

"Teddies!" Bo bellowed. "Take her away!"

Two button-eyed teddies swooped down and lifted her.

"Take her to the Scatter Witch. She'll know what to do."

"Wait!" Jenny yelled. "This is just a dream, right?"

Bo's lips curled upwards. "Of course. I wouldn't be twelve feet tall and talking in real life, would I?"

So it was a dream. How curious. "What do you want to do with me, then?"

"I told you. I'm going to keep you awake forever. 'Cause once you fall asleep in the Land of Slumber, you wake up in the real world. And when you do...I disappear."

"B...but, I'll dream of you again tomorrow night! I always do!"

"There's no way you can be sure of that."

"I will! I promise!"

"Bah," Bo coughed up a puff of smoke. "Enough talk. I don't want this night to ever end. I have a land to rule over."

He motioned for the teddies to take her away. Screaming, kicking, Jenny suddenly felt very, very worried that this was no ordinary dream.

*****

The teddies had been carrying her close to a half hour now. She was growing sick of the sight of purple clouds.

How long more is this going to take, she wondered for the umpteenth time. The teddies didn't say anything when she asked.

Finally, they descended -rather roughly - on a clearing of soft grass. A barely-noticable sign read "THE SCATTER WITCH NEVER RESTS."

The teddies nudged her towards a sorry-looking hut. The Scatter Witch's place, no doubt about it.

"There you are, my dearie," A decidedly witchy voice fluttered from inside. "Come in, come in."

Two sharp teddy jabs didn't allow her anywhere else to go.

So up the steps she strode. When suddenly, swiftly - in half the time it takes a teddy to blink - a pair of powerful jaws snatched her into the air.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Shall We Dance?

The flicker in his eye
As she walked past by
The sweet cherries of her hair

Her heart was fast
His name came last
Music waltzing through the air

Then, like every knowing fool
They put on their best shoes
And asked "Shall we dance?"

And dance they did
Under the sky starry-lit
Misty raindrops of a romance

Hand in hand
They danced
They danced
The moon never set