Writer's Block Presents...So You Think You Know MSN?

So you think you know all there is to know about MSN Messenger, huh? You keep telling youself that buster, and maybe someday you'll start believing yourself. MSN Messenger (from now on referred to as "MSN") can at the best of times be a handy program that allows you to chat with friends, transfer files conveniently, and even show off cool display pictures. When the other side of the toast shows up, however, you have a deranged sub-culture festering with loonies who think the Nudge button is the greatest thing ever invented, embarassing nicknames, 50MB file transfers, and what-have-yous.
Knowing full well of the growing number of problems faced by disillusioned MSN users, our resident MSN expert (who also happens to be - who else? - the author of this blog) squeezes in some time to take questions on Netiquette. And no, that's not the new boutique in Times Square.
Note: The following article is almost entirely a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, events, or places are purely coincidential and satirical.

MSN-okkies: Hello, so you think you know MSN?

Caller One: Hello. I'm having a conversation with this friend whom I have not seen in a long time, but we don't seem to have much to talk about after exchanging greetings and news. What should I say?

MSN-okkies: If the last sentence was from him, say "oic", "ok", or "haha". Then WAIT for 5 minutes before switching your status to Away. All replies from him in the meanwhile should be ignored. This way, it'll seem as though you left your computer to go into sleep mode while you went elsewhere. Totally acceptable.

Caller One: But what if he keeps asking me "Hey, r u there?" and Nudging me?

MSN-okkies: Sign out. It'll seem like your mom accidentally turned off the computer while cleaning up. Happens all the time.

Caller One: Oh wow, that's neat. I'll try that next time. Thanks a lot, MSN...ok...kies? They actually let you come on air with that sort of name?

MSN-okkies: There is no they. I am the they.

(hangs up)

MSN-okkies: Hello, so you think you know MSN?

Caller Two: There's this girl I want to chat with, but her status is at Away. Would it be appropriate to just say hi?

MSN-okkies: (stifles laughter) Of course not. She's definitely not at her computer - her status wouldn't be Away otherwise, would she?

Caller Two: But what is she doing with her MSN on if she's not at the computer?

MSN-okkies: Downloading songs. And, uh, transferring them through MSN.

Caller Two: All the time?!

MSN-okkies: So she has a slower dial-up connection. You got a problem with that?

Caller Two: Umm...I guess not. But sometimes I see her status change to "Busy" instead. What's up with that?

MSN-okkies: Duh...what do you think? She must be so busy with something else that requires her undivided attention that she actually bothered to turn on her MSN and take the trouble to change her tag to "Busy". Yups, that's got to be it.

Caller Two: (sighs) Guess I'll never have her, then.

MSN-okkies: Ew. Go change your MSN nick to "I love you forever and ever, will you pls be my girlfren" or something. And get a life while you're at it.

(hangs up)

MSN-okkies: Okay, now all the weirdos are coming in. Hello, so you think you know MSN?

Caller Three: Uh, yeah, hi. So, there's this friend of mine who, like, keeps sending me huge files of lame stuff everytime I meet him online. I don't like refusing him - you know? - but it's really slowing down my com and all. What's a guy gotta do?

MSN-okkies: Sounds pretty easy to me. You accept his file, count to ten, and click "Cancel". Sure, the dude's gonna be all "Hey, what happened?". And you can say "Aw man, problem with the connection. Send again." He'll try once more, and this time you count till TWENTY before cancelling. Repeat process, counting up to a different number each time until it's safe enough to say "gtg". Should be fun enough to put you off whatever you're busy with at the moment.

Caller Three: But won't he, like, get suspicious and all?

MSN-okkies: Nobody can ever be justifiably suspicious of the opposite party on MSN. Remember that, naive one, and all shall be well with your future conversations.

Caller Three: Will try to. Thanks, Mr. MSN...uh, uh...

MSN-okkies: It's a play of words using MSN and Mokkies. Go read up on a word called intelligence, for crying out loud.

(hangs up)

MSN-okkies: Hello, so you think...

Caller Four: Some idiot's put my name in his MSN nick, followed by "I love you forever and ever, will you pls be my girlfren". It's really, really, embarrassing. Please get him to stop.

MSN-okkies: Yeeps...doesn't seem to be a pretty case, missy. You tried talking to him?

Caller Four: No way I'm talking to that creep! Should I block him?

MSN-okkies: I would advise against that. MSN Block Checkers are floating around everywhere these days. Then you might have to switch to ICR or something.

Caller Four: You mean ICQ.

MSN-okkies: Yeah, whatever. All right, tell you what...create a new e-mail account that sounds as much as possible like it came from the actual MSN company. Send him an email with that account detailing - in corporate language and all, of course - how he has been "reported for violating privacy rights of other users via means of defamation, harassment etc as detailed in Guideline 13 of the Registration Rules And Regulations", making his "continued usage of the current account an offense punishable by federal and international law." Should he disregard the email, take it to the next level by creating an MSN Messenger account with the new email and adding him into your contact list. Chat up with him while imposing as an MSN high-up staff the best you can. That should scare the living daylights out of him.

Caller Four: Wow, thanks! You really are a great help!

MSN-okkies: Why, you make me blush. Have a nice day.

(hangs up)

MSN-okkies: My, my, look at the time. We'll take one last caller before going off air. Hello, so you think you know MSN?

Caller Five: Uhh...hi, it's me again. You know, the one who was being ignored by the girl.

MSN-okkies: (chokes on laughter) Oh yeah, I remember you. So how did it go?

Caller Five: Not so good. I changed my MSN nick, and she's still On The Phone. It's been six hours already. Should I call her?

MSN-okkies: She's on the phone, doink.

Caller Five: Then maybe I should send her an SMS. She'll reply me after she finishes her call, right?

MSN-okkies: Of course she will. Keep it short and sweet too...just ask "where r u". Everyone loves receiving and replying to messages like that. And while you're at it, ask "r u there" through MSN, followed by a Nudge.

Caller Five: And if all else fails?

MSN-okkies: Nudge repeatedly. Remember - nothing, and I mean nothing, in this world is more powerful than the Nudge. Except for Winks, maybe.

Caller Five: Okay, I sure will try that. Hey, I received a new email from MSN Anti Stalkers! Cool.

MSN-okkies: Goodbye, sucka.

(hangs up)

MSN-okkies: (sniggers) It's a complicated world out there, and someone's gotta provide us with comic relief. Boy oh boy, do I smell a money-spinning franchise coming up. That's a wrap, people, hope you enjoyed the show and took it more seriously than I did. ;)

(Appears Offline)

The New Girl, Chapter 23

The oooodles of fun continues with nutcase Jean almost starting to show signs of cracking up! Nothing full-blown yet, but it's so much scarier when it's subtle as heck. Have fun, kiddos.

"Did I frighten you? Oh, I'm so sorry." Jean changed at the snap of a finger to a soft-spoken concerned friend. "P-please don't think I'm crazy or something. I'm like that sometimes."
And one of those sometimes you're going to kill me, thought May.
"That's why I need this secret garden, May. The people out there are so mean and nasty to me, not like everything in here. I was hoping you would learn to love this place as well, but apparently you don't."
Now May was making no attempts to mask her uneasiness at Jean. "Listen, we've both got problems."
"You mean I had problems. I never have any problems in the secret garden."
Suddenly the cerulean sky and bobbing leaves didn't seem just that. The beaming trees. The velvety grass. The rabbits and picnics and brooks and see-through streams...all of them could almost be taken straight out from story books and paintings.
"I thought you were having problems with Saras as well, you see, that's why I brought you here. But then you go and become friends with Saras, and she makes you think I'm the psycho around here. Kinda the story of my life, huh?"
"Don't be silly. I'm not friends with Saras. And even if I was, why would that bother you?"
"It shouldn't," Jean smiled sadly and shook her head. "But you know...I'm weird. Misha was like that too. First she was all buddy-buddy with me, hanging out together here four, five times a week. But once she became old like you, she didn't want to be friends any more. She became scared of me."
"Sometimes I wonder to myself - what does it take to have a friend that stays true to you? Everyone tells me to just be myself and I do that. Some others tell me to treat my friends well and I give them a whole perfect garden. And others tell me to be open and share each others' problems. I do that too. Remember me telling you about my parents' death?"
May nodded vaguely.
"But they all end up betraying me. How sad."
Her voice cracked a little. But still she was smiling sweetly as ever.
"I know what Saras told you about me, May. And I know what you're thinking about me. You think I don't know, but I do."

The New Girl, Chapter 22

Well, whadayya know! Who would've ever imagined writing this chapter would be as much fun as it has turned out to be? It goes to show that I need to spend less time worrying about how "developed, motivated, blah blah blah" the characters are and just let them have fun out there.

Something inside her told her that Jean was around. She was hiding, not wanting to be seen by May for some reason.
"I hope you're not still mad at me for talking to Saras." May called out.
At last a pale voice, unmistakenably Jean's, filtered through the trees. "I'm not mad at you."
"Then show yourself. Please."
Jean's head poked out through a lowering branch May hadn't noticed earlier. She was still in her pinafore. Limberly she slid down to the grass with a muted thud, then took one look at May and become slightly agitated.
"You...you've become older."
"Please, Jean," May sounded dead serious. "Tell me what caused this."
"It's Saras," she shook her head and sniffed. "She cast a spell on you."
"I'm really, really sorry that I have to say this, Jean, but...I'm finding it very hard to believe you."
Jean's eyes quivered wide in fear. "Why?"
"Look - I'm aging fifteen years every night and I'm begging you to give me a clue. Surely you must know something. Your friend Misha...what happened to her? How did she end up becoming old like me as well?"
"I don't know," she started sobbing. "It's all so confusing. Oh, why can't we just leave this all behind and have our beautiful picnics and walks and happy days forever?"
Jean tugged at her hand and forced a smile. "I built a new treehouse. Want to have a look?"
"Snap out of it!" May felt like slapping her.
"What do you want from me?"
Her shriek was so unexpected and ear-piercing that May swore the entire garden became still as a picture. It then occurred to May that no one knew where she was.
"First it was Auntie Lilian. Then Saras. Then the teachers. Then Misha. And now you. It's just too much fun picking on Jean, isn't it? Oh look, it's Jean the weirdo. There she goes again, talking to herself about weird stuff with her weird face and her weird clothes in her weird voice. Of course I'm crazy. Of course you don't trust me. Saras must be right! Saras must be right! I'm the evil black magic witch casting voodoo spells on you! Right?"
May didn't know what to make of this crazed outburst. Fear, however, was most definitely creeping in. Harmless she might appear, but Jean probably knew every inch of this garden.

Writer's Block

Am I not supposed to be very free at the moment? Yups, and that's what I've been telling everyone, so it makes me not-so-free instead. Talk about paradoxical. Stir in the sudden feverish fit I had on Sunday night and wholesome nutritious laziness, and you have a golden brown reason to forgive me for my six-day absence.

Anyway! You must be wondering why that bit of pointless fluffery would warrant an entire Writer's Block. "You mean you're NOT going to update the story? Oh mannn..." Or wait...did something important happen in my life? You bet! Everyday's an important day when you're me, but that's not for you to find out.

Actually I realised that I've yet to do a "story analysis" for The New Girl, which is quite a pity really. Story analyses make good speed bumps on the highway of writing-just-for-writing's-sake. So bear with me will ya, as I slam the brakes at a most inappropriate time...

See, we're now at Chapter 21 (at this point I just realise that Chapter 21 has been mistakenly titled Chapter 20 for over a week), and okay, okay, nothing too bad so far. Meloves the ambigiuty of who's the bigger evil between Jean and Saras still being played out, and your unconventional playground of horrors in the beautiful garden. Everything's like a bubble puffing up just waiting to burst and leave a splatter of dishwashing liquid on your indignant faces. =p

I would play out more of the uncomfortable relationship between the odd trio of May, Jean, and Saras, but Ghostopia has taught me a thing or two about milking the cow for too long. There are, in my mind, two things which make a story good - compelling characters you love and hate, and interesting things to happen to them or for them to do. Take either one away, or worse, both, and you have the storytelling equivalent of a bad joke. However with the very limited space Twisted Tales has to offer, I can't really do both at the same time. Notice how practically nothing "deep" has been said yet of Misha at this point, and how it was a teeeensy bit too early for Jean to do her disappearing act.

It's a good thing that The New Girl is the sort of story that draws you to the climax based on sheer curiousity of what the characters are about, rather than what they are going to do, which means the lack of understanding of the characters could work to the story's advantage instead. And would it be surprising if I confessed again that I don't have a concrete ending in mind? Hehe, guess not. I even had the idea of not making this scene the final scene (which explains why Jean has yet to show up), but that could turn into a major anti-climax. Let's just get this baby over and done with and move on, I say!

And lastly, can anyone tell me please where this getting-older-by-the-minute plot has been done before? The best I can recall is an episode of The Outer Limits I saw recently, but that was more like "transferring" age, not making someone age rapidly. Of course there was this Stephen King book-slash-movie called Thinner, where you had this dude growing thinner rapidly after he angered some...um, gypsy? Can't be too sure. Pst...make sure Mr. King doesn't hear about this, but I actually got the idea from that. Now you know.

And that brings to an end the latest edition of Writer's Block which you didn't ask for, and most likely didn't read every word of! Trust me to know dirty little secrets like this...I'll see you people around for End Game of The New Girl.

The New Girl, Chapter 21

I'm having to step out of my comfort zone, with dilemma-inducing job offers and all. It's scary. Seriously.

May couldn't keep her eyes off the taxi meter. Already it was heading dangerously close to the limit of ten ringgit she had safely tucked in her pocket.
"So are you a teacher, or a parent?" The taxi driver hollered like a typical uneducated Chinaman.
"Parent." If only he would shut up already.
"How old is your child?"
"Sixteen." she blurted out before pretending to sleep. Good, at least she could ponder over more worrying things in peace now.

"Ten ringgit and forty sen please, madam,"
May grinned sheepishly and slapped the sole red note onto his outstretched palm. "Sorry, that's all I've got."
With a not-too-pleased look the driver made do and sped off, leaving a lost-looking middle-aged lady standing before the entrance of St. Francesca's Girls' School. It was still as intimidating as the first day she had laid eyes on it, but there was good reason for it this time around.
And where would she find Jean? For May, it was quite a no-brainer - there didn't seem to be any place else she could hide in that no one else had bothered looking but the secret garden.

Climbing over a five-foot tall wired fence when you were a forty-year old with rubbery legs was in no way easy. May pushed and panted - once, twice, thrice - finally succeeding on the fourth try. She laid back flat on the grass, rather alarmed at the toll age took on the human body.
It was still beautiful as ever inside, but May was too flustered to spare a passing glance to the blooming flowers and all that came with them.
"Jean!" she cried out. "Jean! I know you're here somewhere! Come on out!"
The singing of the birds hushed slightly, as though they wanted her to be heard.
"Jean! Jean! Where are you?"
Now the birds were totally silent. An uneasy gust toyed with May's hair.
"Jean?"

reCAPPENING: The New Girl, Chapters 16-20

Whoops...forgot to include the preamble for yesterday's post. The event most worth noting should be last Friday night's launching of our graduation exhibition (finally!). Screw the incessant downpour and almost-embarassing lack of guests, us Batch 26ers were going to make it a night to remember all the same. A distant relative of the prom night genre, if you will...
Anyway now that January's upon us and I can no longer believably employ the excuse of being busy, guess we're gonna have to see Ghostopia around again somewhere soon. Oh you wait, just you wait...

May's parents take her to the hospital, but the doctors are equally clueless. On the way there, she figures that the black magic Jean and Saras are involved in must be the cause for her sudden aging. However, her parents refuse to let her go anywhere but the hospital.
Saras then unexpectedly visits her, bearing two bits of information - Misha was earlier on in the same condition as May was, eventually aging into a shrivelled old lady of almost 100. Apart from that, Jean has gone missing.
That night, May awakes and finds out to her horror that she has aged another fifteen years. She racks her brain desperately in search of a way to make get to school and confront Jean. Morning arrives, and she manages to escape from the hospital by masquerading as her mother. She hurries off excitedly outside to hail a taxi, leading us into Chapter 21.

The New Girl, Chapter 20

May drew her breath in for so long she almost suffocated. The dreary footsteps of the nurse plodded closer and closer to her room, then stopped. There. Now was the time for action.
She'd stayed up almost the whole night stringing together the best escape plan her mind could concoct, drawing deep from her years of Girl Guiding and Kim Possible viewings. Every possible scenario was already backed up, every question readied with a prepared answer. It had to work.

"Where's my daughter?" May tried her best to sound anxious. "She's not around!"
"What?" the unsuspecting nurse peered at the empty bed and frowned. "Maybe she's in the toilet."
"No she's not! Don't you think I would have checked?"
"Hold on for a minute," she dialled the room phone. "Hello, Doris? Yes, I'm calling from 262B. Did anyone move...erm, May Leong See Mei?"
She nodded grimly and hung up. "She doesn't have any appointments scheduled...but don't worry, we'll have her back as soon as possible."
"You better," May was very much tempted to kick up a fuss like any doting parent would, but realised she didn't have time. "I'll be back in the afternoon."
The perplexed nurse nodded.

It worked perfectly! May couldn't help smiling to herself as she hurried to the nearest elevator, all the while making sure that her meticulously pieced blanket-cum-hospital-gown outfit didn't fall apart and make the nurses escort her back. And as much as she wanted to just sprint all the way down the stairs, rationality made her think otherwise. She couldn't risk not acting normal.
It had to be the longest elevator trip she ever took. Bing! An elderly couple stepped in, chatting animatedly about some magical sea cucumber paste which - if they were to be believed - could cure anything. Bing! The number 1 had barely changed into G when in came a group of doctors in the midst of their morning pleasantries. One of them happened to be May's doctor.
"Hi, Mrs. Leong," he greeted her.
"Oh, hi." The less said the better.
"Visiting your daughter?"
Bing! At long last they reached the ground floor. "Yah." she uttered weakly and exited with an increasingly fragile calmness.
Don't look at anyone. Don't look at anyone.
The sliding doors parted, letting in a cacophony of outside noises. They weren't really noises, but even the sound of traffic lights changing would seem thumping after days in hospital sterility.
Either way, she was out of the hospital. Now to hitch a ride back to school.

Writer's Block: Stupidity

After an almost two month long absence, we herald the return of our the poem/short story-type Writer's Block! You know, the sort that would actually be READ. And lol, what a brave fool I am for posting this on the World Wide Web. Consider this a subtle outcry against the many instances of...erm, not-so-wise decisions I've encountered during my six-month long tenure as Vice President of the Batch 26 Graduation Campaign. No names named, of course - just bear in mind that it's most fun to read when you imagine "I" as yourself and tsk-tsk at the mind-boggling stupidity of everyone but yourself...

Ah, stupidity!
How I wish you hadn't come today
Always sneaking, slinking round the corners
Go away! I'm in the midst of the creative process

When people think they're right before they speak
Pow! You swoop in like an eagle and go flap flap flap
Hissing, clawing, scratching my face - ouch!
Begone! I said begone!

When every idea needs to be approved by twenty different heads
There you are again, jiving on the table barefoot
Stop clapping the dust off you shoes, I'm warning you!
Stupidity, you're not welcome here!

When details are given so much attention to that the big picture is an afterthought
You clamber to the ceiling fan and swing crazily, screaming your head off
Who taught you to thump your chest so loudly, you rip-off Tarzan?
Be quiet, for crying out loud! I can't think straight!

When meetings last weeks in wait of the perfect idea
Crash! Boom! Bang! Like a raging bull you charge round the room
Goring tables and chairs, turning them topsy-turvy
I'm begging you, leave us alone! You've wasted enough of our time already

When three seperate ideas become one to appease all
Your beady eyes bulge into flaming red balls, your jaws stretch wide open
What enormous teeth! What a piercing roar! Everything's falling apart!
Now you've really done it, YOU STUPID CREATURE!

BOOM!

Sigh
Nothing's left now
Nothing but Stupidity and the trail of duh

The saddest thing about Stupidity is that
It doesn't come to stupid people
It comes to smart people who think that
It won't come at all

The New Girl, Chapter 19

WHOO~! A happy new year of belated-ness to you, and then we're all set to launch the fiscal year of 2006 for Twisted Tales! See how big a commercial phenomenon Twisted Tales has become, that I'm now even allowed to use words like "fiscal".

"Don't be silly," Saras scoffed. "You're going to have to stay here till they allow you to leave."
"But what if I start becoming older and older, like Misha?" cried May in despair. "I might wake up tomorrow and find myself my mother's age!"
"It...probably won't happen." Terribly unconvincing, thought May.
"It could." she strode to the door. "And I've got to make sure that it doesn't."
May flung open the door, startling her parents outside. Her mom looked on the verge of tears.
"Mom, Dad - take me to school now. Please. It's the only way we can stop what's happening to me."
She could very well have asked them to take her to Santa and his elves, judging by the vexed looks they shot back at her.
"Go back to your bed. NOW."
"But, dad! There's this girl in school who practices black magic and she's responsible somehow."
He grunted something inaudible and motioned for her to go back in. Saras, who had been watching all the while could only muster a helpless grin.

That night May couldn't sleep a wink. It had to be the hottest night in recorded history. The air conditioner at full blast felt no more than a ticklish breeze absent most of the time. Finally she rolled out of bed for a trip to the toilet that wasn't neccessary at all.
She shuffled her feet wearily to the door and twisted the knob and pushed it open in one swift movement to avoid the noisy creaking. The first glimpse she caught was that of her reflection in the mirror ahead.
It made her blood run cold.
She had become a splitting image of her mother, right down to the stray grey hairs and mushrooming wrinkles. Her hands shook uncontrollably as she tried pinching her cheeks. They flabbed back miserably beneath her sunken cheekbones.
"N...n...no..." Even her voice sounded croakier. "Not so fast..."
She swallowed repeatedly till her throat ached, something she always did when she was anxious. The aging process had been so sudden yet unnoticed that she didn't feel any different till she saw herself.
By hook or by crook, May had to seek Jean out tomorrow. There could be no two ways about it. Her parents wouldn't come by till lunchtime - which meant she had exactly twelve hours to come up with a plan to escape from the hospital, get to her school twelve miles away, and pray hard for Jean to be found there.

The New Girl, Chapter 18

In a desperate attempt to at least reach double figures before the month (and year) is out, here we go again - the next wholesome-to-the-bone installment of The New Girl! By the way, I won't be around from the 27th all the way till the 30th - yups, it's that time of the year again: Youth Camp! Don't think the absence will be very much noticable though, with the slew of breaks I've taken so far...see ya around for New Year's Eve!

"I know it feels awfully weird that I'm here." Saras' words mirrored the exact thoughts in May's head.
"Um...pretty much. Where're the rest of your friends?"
"Most of them need to help out with their parents' businesses after school. I'm only able to be here because my elder brother is back home for this month."
"Mm," May nodded. "By the way, you must be wondering how I grew fifteen years older in a day."
"Not really. I've seen it happen before."
May sat up, very much more interested now. "You mean that girl Misha?"
"Yes. But she took a lot longer than you. Say, three months."
"And you saw it all?"
"They sent her to the hospital at about the same age you got to, 30 or so. Maybe later I think. It was when the changes became too great to ignore. I only saw her once more after that in the hospital, and it was terrible. She'd become all shrivelled up and bedridden, almost like a grandmother approaching 100. Her mother kept crying, but there was nothing the doctors could do. She didn't make a single sound; all she did was stare at us like we weren't there."
"Did...did she die in the end?" Her hands had strangely become clammy all of a sudden.
"I don't know. Her parents took her out of town, vowing to find a cure."
A very scary question raced through her mind over and over like a sadistic carousel - Will the same thing happen to me? She dared not ask it however, for fear of an answer even worse than the question.
"And I should let you know this," Saras continued. "Jean's missing."
"Missing? Where is she?"
"How would I know? Her aunt came to school this morning and said that she didn't come home last night. She's worried sick."
Don't tell me she's still in the secret garden.
"I think I know where she is," May got out of bed. "Come, we've got to look for her."

A Not-So-Regular Edition Of Writer's Block, I Hope

O Come all ye faithful to Twisted Tales! It's the warm fuzzy time of the year again, if the marketing people would have you believe, and I hope you've all had a Christmas as good as I had. What makes a Christmas special? For me it's not so much on how well the year went, but how great you think the next year's gonna be. Kinda like how you don't feel relaxed at the start of a long day, but at the end. Of course, that's speaking in very humanistic and selfish terms which misses the meaning of Christmas altogether.

ANYWAY. Like always, you didn't come here for smart-alecky philosophical stuff which you can read elsewhere. We gather here today because...sigh, people never learn. Once again, I've been made to submit to a sissilicious...oh, how I dread the word...TAG!

Hehe, you're lucky Charmaine that I'm a sucker for praise - thank you for all that you've lavished upon me this entire year, undeserved though it might be. One of your 5 joys in life, fancy that. Since we're on the topic, big thank yous too for people like Beatrice, Jill, Zhi Yong, Estee, Chern Lye, Cherie, and the other ton of anonymous readers who think I don't know exist. Thank you sooo much guys, you're all that seperate me from being a self-delusional hack typing away in vain hope of someone noticing.

Alllll...ritey then! Heads up, as we get set for the Return Of The Tag:

10 years ago I was: 10 years old and very much the unknowing freak of the class.

5 years ago I was: I was 15, in Form Three, and going through very much of a transitional stage between kiddyhood and youthhood. Still not sure if I've completed the transition. =p

1 year ago I was: Beginning my final year of college and about to meet a man whom I would very much aspire to be.

5 snacks I enjoy: Kit Kat! Pringles Sour Cream and Onion! Koko Krunch! Chipsmore! Pringles Sour Cream and Onion! Heh, can't blame me for having good taste.

5 songs I know including the lyrics: Uhh...there's this Chinese Christian song "You Yi Jian Li Wu" which we sang for laughs so many times during carolling that I think I've miraculously gotten it. The Powerpuff Girls theme song, the Thundercats theme song, the Pinky And The Brain theme song, the Angela Anaconda theme song, and lots more cartoons than you probably care to hear about.

5 things I would do with a million dollars: Put Twisted Tales up on the stock market. Set up some sort of charity for obnoxious wannabe writers wasting bandwidth with their online stories. Erm...erm...I dunno...hey, don't you get enough overimaginative stories here alerady?!

5 places I would run away to: Hmm...I'm trying hard to think of some faraway glamourous/ mystical country but guess I'm really boring. I'd rather leech myself to my home and at most, the homes of my good friends. Of course, names shall not be revealed for the fear of them being mobbed by autograph-wielding fans.

5 things I would never wear: Pink clothes, sleeveless shirts, hair dye, matching "couple" outfits, basically anything that threatens my apek gimmick lah.

5 favourite TV shows: Used to love Futurama. Powerpuff Girls has to be in the list too. Pinky And The Brain? Sure, on the back of being IMO the cartoon with the best premise still. And I was just watching an old episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway today, which reminded me plenty. Last but not least, in fact the most, is a no-brainer...um, WWE programming. Yeah. No Desperate Housewives, Alias, CSI, Lost, anything normal? Yeah, I'm w-e-i-r-d. Speaking of which, shouldn't "weird" be spelt "w-i-e-r-d" if it's prnounced that way?

5 bad habits: Oh man...do we have to go through this again? Time management, time management, time management. Can be pretty careless with what I say at times. Lacking initiative. Always cheating when I answer tag questions.

5 biggest joys: Friends lah. You lah. Ya lah, you, the one sitting at the computer reading. Thank you for reading my blog loh. Hope I'm gonna find my career a joy too...and wouldn't it be terrible if I didn't include my family? Unite, all ye better-looking-and more intelligent-than-average Moks! (inside joke with my sister). Then of course living in the light of Christ leh. Veli the joyful that one, I tell you.

5 favourite toys: How about I make it "5 favourite games" instead? Year 2003 produced THREE fantasticulous games which still gives me and a certain friend hours of conversation. The first one's a party game called Mafia, where you have murderers, a doctor, and a spy, and the objective is to catch all the murderers. You've probably played some version of it before. Mid 2003 all the way to early 2004 saw some of the most thrilling rounds ever at almost every gathering og high school friends. We even played it at eateries, for crying out loud. Next would be an online game called Utopia, which I've explained about previously. Finally we have Dota (Defense Of The Ancients), a Warcraft map which you MUST have heard of. It is with great pride that I claim to be the one who introduced it to my high school friends, who've since taken it far, far away.
And for the heck of it, Yahoo Graffiti and...oh, I dunno..."chai mui"? You know, that game where you guess with your hands whether the opponent will do a "zero", "five", or "ten"? Had great fun with that in high school...

5 fictional characters I would date: May. Jean. Saras. Kat. Belinda Froster. HAH! You know me better than to pass up a chance like this to subconsciously remind you of my much-loved stories, don't you?

5 people I want to tag to do this: Go knock yourselves out, Devoted Readers Number 4, 5, 7, 9, and 12.

And a winner is you, because this tag is now officially OVER! Like Charmaine says, "Smiles widely". =)))

The New Girl, Chapter 17

(Egad, it's the 19th already and we're only into our SIXTH post of the month? That's like the blogging regularity of a regular person with a healthy social life! Has Twisted Tales' moment in the sun passed, or is the busiest stretch of the year to be blamed? Oh well, let's just give your harried writer here the benefit of the doubt and hope that the goodies will start appearing come the new year. But wait, then there's Chinese New Year...
Bleargh, passion, passion...that's what I'm supposed to write with, right?)

Okay, I'll be honest. The part in brackets was written three days ago, which was when I started writing this chapter and have been unable to finish since. Between the rushing to and fro college for the graduation exhibition setup, some dumb interview with the college, designing, redesigning, and re-redesigning the church bulletin which I still insist sucks, trying my hardest to feel like I'm on holiday, and lots of other menial stuff like eating and sleeping, I can't believe I'm still almost as busy as I was at the end of the term. Talk about reliving a nightmare.
But the biggest bombshell came yesterday. As I was driving home, I suddenly received an SMS from Zhi Yong which went something like, "Eh, did you hear? Ju Liang is in the hospital for suspected leukemia. Pls pray for him.". Ju Liang is, in case you didn't know, a pretty close friend of mine in church. Rather numbly I just deleted the message and muttered a half-hearted prayer or two when traffic was slow.
The severity of the situation didn't strike me still this morning. Watching Narnia with some friends. Fetching them back. Doing my usual crappy high-pitched sing-along to Phantom Of The Opera to amuse them. Driving to college. Doing minimal work. Goofing around with a digital camera. All the while Ju Liang was on my mind, but I still somehow assumed him to be having some sort of high fever. I don't know why nothing bad crossed my mind. Maybe I'm just like that.
It was only when I was at Zhi Yong's house later, about to leave for the hospital to visit Ju Liang, that Zhi Yong's father let me in on the diagnosis. Apparently Ju Liang was confirmed to be suffering from leukemia and has to undergo chemotheraphy. The expected life span for a leukemia patient after treatment is five years.
Now he was talking about life spans.
I've read countless such stories and articles, and not one of them has left a lasting impression on me. I don't expect this one to change you in any way, unless you know Ju Liang too. It doesn't have a moral lesson at the end. It's not a feel-good story, nor a heartstrings-tugging one. In fact, the story hasn't even started yet. I'm writing this down just because I need to.

He seemed fine at the hospital.

At the end of the night, I asked Zhi Yong, "Hey...he'll be all right, won't he?"
"Hopefully."
"Will he...die?" I just had to ask.
"Everyone does."
"No, seriously."
"I'm serious."
Fair enough.
"Oh well," I looked up at the stars, dotting the black sky like silverdust. "I could think of a million things to say beginning with 'I think God is trying to...', but who am I to speak of God's will?"
Dear Lord Jesus, please take good care of my friend Ju Liang.

Wow, that almost qualifies as a seperate Writer's Block. Never mind, the story's gonna be an added bonus...

The New Girl, Chapter 17
Jean eyed the unguarded window at the far end of the room. The other two patients between her and the window were fast asleep in their beds though it was still bright. The annoying nurse who checked on them every hour was still fifteen minutes before schedule. Plenty of time for her to climb out and hail a taxi to school before anyone noticed.
Ha ha.
She'd been stuck here for an entire morning and afternoon, ready to wither from the boredom. Her parents were still out there consulting with the doctors on the A to Zs of her condition and from what little bit she could gather, still nobody had a clue what was happening. Each time the doctors told them that in their medical gibberish, her father grew increasingly agitated while her mother inched closer to a nervous breakdown.
May was positive that black magic was behind it all. The only question was whether it was Saras' doing or Jean's. Both of them would want her to believe that the other did it, and had perfectly valid reasons to back themselves up. To make matters worse, she still didn't know if Jean was all right after her tantrum in the garden.
"Excuse me, Miss Leong," the nurse poked her head in. "You have a guest."
A guest? It had better not be the first in a dreaded never-ending slew of relatives asking the same questions over and over.
"Let him in."
She heard the nurse speak softly to someone and then the door opening. It was Saras.
"Saras?" She looked very much different from her usual rowdy self in school, almost docile with her neat untied hair and cotton skirt. "I-I didn't expect you at all."
"I won't take long." she smiled and sat beside her bed.

The New Girl, Chapter 16

Man, this can't be good...yet another long story update-less streak, this one lasting six days. And I'm still supposed to start on Ghostopia before the year is out, haha...looks like that's gonna have to wait till January. What?! I did say I couldn't be trusted, didn't I?
Anyway, today's chapter is another ground-breaking one because...we have our first male characters of the story! I said MALE CHARACTERS~! TESTOSTERONE, BABY! Yippee.

"I've run her through all the tests," the balding doctor said grimly. "All her physical traits are similar to that of a 30-year old."
"Ridiculous!" May's father was livid. "Tell us, doctor - what's this?"
He shook his head. "It's incredible. I've never seen anything like this before in my life."
"My daughter was sixteen yesterday, and today you're telling me she's thirty. Don't give me that."
"Um, maybe I can refer her to another hospital in the city."
"It's okay. We'll do that ourselves." said her father in a disgusted tone as they left, though May was very sure the poor doctor had done nothing to deserve his wrath.

"Nothing? Nothing at all? Are you sure?"
"Yes mom, I'm positive I didn't take any funny food yesterday. In fact I didn't take any outside food."
"How about the last week?"
"Oh please, have you ever seen anyone grow fifteen years older just because they ate something wrong?" May snapped irritatedly. She glanced at her absurd womanly face in the rear mirror and quickly looked away, feeling exasperated and worried at the same time. Who or what could have done this? If they didn't find a way to turn her back the way she was, she would probably have to start looking for a job tomorrow. Or worse still, a husband.
"Don't you worry dear, everything will be just fine," said her mother. "It's just some infection, that's all. They'll know what to do."
"I can't for the life of me understand this," her father flashed his lights at the car in front impatiently. "I saw her with my very own eyes just last night. And now she's become older. It's like magic."
It's like magic.
Suddenly a thought crossed May's mind. Black magic. Could what was happening be caused by Saras' black magic, just like Jean had warned her? Or maybe Jean's black magic like Saras had warned her. For the first time she could fit the pieces together to grasp an inkling of the situation. The way she'd outgrown her skirt the past few days, it was already one of the early signs that Saras noticed. And didn't Jean mention that the other girl, Misha, eventually suffered from some strange disease? This one was as strange as they came.
It was highly improbable, but she was now living proof that this hocus-pocus wasn't the far-fetched nonsense she'd made it out to be. There was no way any hospital or doctor or medicine would be able to change her back. Only Saras and Jean had the answers.
"Mom, Dad, I need to go to shcool. Someone might be able to help me."
"Don't be silly dear, we're reaching the hospital in ten minutes. You can ask your friends to visit you later if you want to."
Drat.

Writer's Block

Picture a dude who tells great witty jokes which you can't stop laughing at. He invites you for a cup of tea, and before you know it you're laughing your head off. Good one, you say. He nods in agreement, and starts rattling off another joke. And before you know it, you're trapped in a never-ending joke fiesta which has outlived its welcome by an hour.
Okay, okay, I'm really inviting trouble for myself by coming up with illustrations like these, but that's quite about what happened to me today. My sleepy, hungry, thirsty, and call-of-naturish self sat through three hours of King Kong. That's the new movie, lest you think I haven't outgrown the zoo.
Perhaps it was the after effects of my sucky day (more on that later), but I didn't exactly have a blast of a time. I mean, there're only so many nail-biting near-death sequences one can take before you realise that if Character X is going to die at all, he'd have died sooner. You know those thrilling climaxes at the end of monster movies where the lead characters have to ward of the Monster(s) Starring In The Movie to stay alive? My gosh, I swear the entire second hour of King Kong was an extended scene of that. Every possible monster, and I do mean every last possible monster showed up to prove that there is life after Power Rangers. Okay, so maybe one or two were absent, but I assure you there was a ridiculously high number of them.
I dunno, maybe the movie was also too long for its own good. I mean, three freakin' hours for this? :

(Spoilers my foot)

a) Dude wants to film movie.
b) Dude and other dudes and one dudette sail to mystical island.
c) Natives capture dudette to offer to some ancient fearsome beast that ain't Godzilla.
d) King Kong likey girl.
e) Dudes enter jungle to rescue girl. King Kong no likey.
f) Dudes manage to capture King Kong to bring home, cos they likey money.
g) King Kong no likey city, breaks free.
h) Humans no likey.
i) Humans hunt down King Kong. Girl no likey.
j) Humans kill King Kong. Me no wakey.

Urghh...okay, to be fair Point G onwards was great to watch, but the rest just seemed a bit too much of a good thing. But hey, I'm not complaining - it's actually really worth your money! Cos for the price of ONE movie, you get to watch loads of scenes which remind you of other movies like Titanic, Jurassic Park, Village Of The Damned, Aliens, Bats, Eight Legged Freaks, They Nest, every Jackie Chan movie ever made, and Home Alone 2 (I'm betting you won't spot this one) =p. Go check it out and you'll see what I mean. Plus, I'm guessing Hazeline Snow is the secret sponsor for this one. You know something subliminal's going on when our female lead's face stays smooth as silk after a dozen treacherous escapades through the wet jungles.

And I did mention a sucky day, didn't I? Well yeah...I was majorly pissed off with myself for putting myself through the dreaded Last Minute Experience again. And by again, I mean more times than you can count. Seriously.
It was my last official college assignment, supposedly due by 1.30pm. Of course, it wouldn't be really "nice" to hand it up at 1.30pm, since that meant the lecturer having to wait four hours for you. And guess what? I only managed to hand it in at 2pm after a couple of apologetic phone calls.
Let me explain to you how being caught in the Last Minute Experience feels. Time starts like normal, but slowly accelerates as you inch closer to the deadline till you know you have to take a minute to cool down, but just don't have that minute to spare. You know your throat is dry, your stomach is hungry and your eyes are weary, but you don't feel it. The feeling only comes after the ordeal is over. As you rush on with your work, you try to concentrate but you can't. All sorts of scenarios are forming in your head, usually revolving around what the person who is waiting for you is doing now. It's doubly worse if you're alone, and the worst thing that can happen is your phone ringing. If you're a jitterbug, this is when your hands might even start shaking. Yup. That bad.
Well, it happened to me today. I'm usually pretty calm in the face of such situations (what can I say, practice makes perfect), but this morning there really seemed to be no chance for me to weasel my way out of this one. At 1.20pm I was becoming the sort of person I always pooh-poohed away - a nervous wreck. I couldn't stop mumbling to myself. My breathing was exactly the sort you hear from horror movie victims. And yes, my hands were shaking badly.
But wait, that's only the Pre-Last Minute ordeal. The Post-Last Minute works in a more long-term way, the sort you don't forget and laugh back at once everything's over and done with.
You feel disappointed when you realise that your labour of love, your work, has been reduced to a half-baked borderline product concocted just to meet the deadline (which is what happens most times). You screwed it all up, you killed your baby not with a lack of competence, but a lack of effort.
Your friends shake their heads at this attitude of yours, asking you what you did with your free time. If it's difficult to give your friends an answer to that, it's far more difficult to give yourself an answer.
The most painful part comes when you look back and realise that it isn't the first time, nor the second time, nor the third time that this has happened. And each time you vow to not let it happen again, it does. You wonder to yourself, what's so hard about meeting a deadline that everyone else could meet? But alas, that's also something that's been asked more times than you care to count.
It's become a chronic illness to me, a drug if you will. Like a struggling addict, I just can't help it. I enter and re-enter rehab, but each time I think I'm making progress, bang! I'm late for something again.
Perhaps I shouldn't be so hard on myself. But deep down, I'm insanely jealous of those who know what exactly they're doing with their time. I'm jealous of those who will not budge from a job till it's complete, and are willing to do whatever it takes to get there. Me? Maybe what I need is time.

reCAPPENING: The New Girl, Chapters 11-15

The next day in school, May receives a note from Saras warning her of Jean, and how she will end up like the "girl before her". Against Jean's wishes, May speaks to Saras during recess. Saras tells May that she and her friends were never really witches; they only pretended to be witches to frighten Jean. Unfortunately, Jean took it too seriously and became involved in black magic herself to protect herself from them.
That afternoon in the secret garden, May tries asking about Jean about this but Jean becomes furious when she finds out that May has been talking to Saras behind her back. She runs off in a fit of anger, making May unable to find her after almost an hour's search.
The next morning, something very strange happens - May wakes up to find that she has grown older by fifteen years. In a state of shock, she calls for her mother, leading us into Chapter 16.

The New Girl, Chapter 15

Okay, so now the official school term's over, and I'm technically no longer a student. Of course the change won't really set in till after my graduation ceremony in March and when I "step into the industry" and all (before March hopefully), but that's it. I have ceased to become a student after six years in SRK Salak South, five years in SMK Taman Desa, and three years in The One Academy.
A time will come soon for the soppy teary-eyed recollections, but today we go on with the show while waiting for the nostalgia to set in. Updating's been slow, and I thank you for all your infinite patience, but today's chapter is the one that's gonna make it all worthwhile. For Chapter 15, ladies and gentlemen, is where the shockingest of all developments so far and what will ultimately become the focal point of the story is revealed. Read on. =)

May could swear she had never in her life felt so tired after a good night's sleep. She tried to get up, but her muscles just refused to let her. Never mind. The ceiling was worth a minute's stare.
Yesterday sure had been one heck of a day. After almost an hour of searching for Jean - who was inexplicably nowhere to be found in the secret garden - she came back so drained that she just took a shower, went straight to bed, and didn't wake up till dinner time. She tried calling her house after dinner but nobody picked up the phone. Nearly the entirety of the night was spent reassuring herself that Jean was okay and pondering various possibilities of where she could've gone.
She might be awfully strange, but she's still my friend.
"May!" her mother rapped the door. "You're not still sleeping, are you?"
"Uhh...just getting dressed. I'll be downstairs in a minute."
"Okay, better be quick. You're running late."
May sat up, stretched, and did the first thing she always did in the morning - look in the mirror.
A mirror is at most times one of the most useful things around, but it has the potential to be the most terrifying as well. The trouble with mirrors is that they cannot fail. You must see your own self in it, and nothing else. A million times you look, and a million times it must be your own face gazing back at you. Should there be anything else, you know that you're in deep trouble. This was one of the very rare moments when the mirror failed May.
It wasn't her face. It resembled hers very much, but it most definitely wasn't. The features were more defined, the skin a darker and duller tone, and her ears and nose had grown somewhat larger. It was the face of a 30-year old woman. What made it even more scary was that it was a 30-year old her.
With trembling hands she pinched her cheek. The reflection pinched its cheek as well. Oh, Lord.
"M-mom...?" she scrambled her voice out of her throat. There wasn't much difference, barring the slightly more mature tone you can't describe. "Mom!"
She felt herself. Crap. She'd become a few inches taller and...well, wider.
"What is it, dear?"
"Come in!"
Her mother burst into the room anxiously. "Oh my..." She took one look at May, barely able to keep herself from collapsing.

The New Girl, Chapter 14

So, you ask, what plausible explanation do I have for so thoughtlessly deprieving you of ANOTHER five days of Twisted Tales? Well buster, I ain't gonna spew lengthy stories, just two words for ya - Internet down!
Strangely though, despite it being the final week of my term I still managed to get along fine without being online. In fact, it was kind of a blessing in disguise; my 36-hour Internet-less ordeal turned out to be one of my most productive periods ever! With no MSN, Yahoo Graffiti, Dota invitations, and other evils of the Net to bother me, I can finally have a weekend to look back at without the slightest tinge of regret. Apart from not being able to blog, of course. But wait...that's an evil too. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
On an unrelated note, my tagboard has gone over 15 days without a single new tag. And if you bother to go through the tagboard archives, it is now officially the LONGEST dry spell ever! Woohoo~! At Twisted Tales, we're all about constantly setting new standards.
But does it bother me? Nahhhh. I sort of deserve it with the recent lack of updating. And I know, oh yes I know, that somewhere out there exists at least 1 (ONE) doting reader following my blog devoutly everyday, checking every two hours for new updates. Yups, Mr. Doting Reader is out there, and he's merely not posting. It is for your sake, and yours alone, Mr. Doting Reader, that I continue faithfully posting stories online. For the rest of you, here you go:

"What's wrong? You seem very quiet today." Jean asked with concern.
May didn't know what to say. She'd followed Jean to the secret garden as usual after school for their umpteenth picnic, but Saras' words kept playing themselves back over and over. Should she bring it up to Jean? Jean would surely be furious if she knew that May had been talking to her.
They spread out the cloth and sat at another new part of the place. Here the grass grew in little tufts that kissed your feet if you took off your shoes, dotting the stone path all the way to a stream which at times didn't seem to be there.
"So what do you think of this place? I'm still trying to come up with a name for it." Jean beamed proudly like an artist surveying her finished masterpiece.
"Beautiful. As always."
They sat in still silence enjoying the specialty of the day: undercooked hashbrowns with tartar sauce. Jean was probably enjoying the serenity of their surroundings, but May knew she wasn't.
"May, I know something's bothering you. Spill."
"Huh, me? What makes you say so?"
"Duh."
Well, she asked for it, so it wasn't her fault.
"Errr...Jean?" she started very slowly. "Have you been dabbling with black magic?"
"Oh why, that reminds me!" she excitedly fished in her bag. "I promised to tell you how we can counter Saras' magic."
"No," May grasped her arm firmly. "I refuse to get involved in any black magic. And you shouldn't too."
Jean's eyes grew narrow. "It's our only chance, silly."
"Not true. I've went to Saras, and she says that they're not-"
Uh-oh. Maybe she shouldn't have said that. Jean's mouth dropped wide open in horror-cum-disbelief.
"WHAT? Didn't I tell you not to talk to her?"
"Wait, liste-"
"You lied to me!" Was that a teardrop in the corner of her eye? "YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TALK TO HER!"
Jean got up and darted across the stream, running wildly till she became a dot at the far end of the fields. May, petrified, didn't know if she should go after her. She'd never seen her like that before. She felt a little guilty inside for breaking her promise to Jean, but something was obviously very wrong. If she didn't get to the bottom of it, someone be badly hurt soon.

Writer's Block

Why hey, you didn't think I would let an entire month slip by without a single good ol' fashioned Writer's Block, did you? Sure those little preambles have gotten rid of the need for a Writer's Block every 3 Chapters, but they haven't rendered them completely useless! So until a better avenue comes along, we travel down once more that well-trodden path...
You might've noticed that I've updated - what, five posts? - in the past two weeks ( including a reCAPPENING), which rings as pretty slow by my usual standards. Yeah, you know the words before I even type them out...it's the final stretch of my schooling career and I better not get an A for Blogging Studies. Of course, VBS did eat up some of time as well but God has been so gracious to me (by cancelling that Penang trip, among others) that it was worth every bit the effort.
Now that reminds me why I came up with this Writer's Block in the first place. Last night I managed to finish in one sitting Godless, a book I waited for six months for the paperback version. It's a story book (I prefer that over "fiction"), in case you're wondering, written by Pete Hautman, and a darn fine read too. 32 bucks, Kinokuniya - need I say more? Oh yeah, the ISBN number's 0689862784, in case that comes in handy.
It's about this regular disoriented teenager Jason Bock who creates his own "customised religion" after tiring of the Catholic faith his dad has been forcing down his throat all the years. Using the logic that water is the provider of all life, he convinces his friends to worship the town water tower, or the Ten-Legged God as they call it. However, things spiral out of control when his disciples start getting even more obsessed with the hokey religion than him, culminating in a dangerous midnight mass on top of the tower where things go horribly wrong. Like it or not, Jason has to control the religion he invented before its power grows out of control.
Sounds interesting? You bet it did to me too, when I first read the review in Sunday Star months back! It raises in the most innocuous of ways age old questions of faith, religion, and whether God is unchanging or a matter of personal perception. In fact, midway through the book right after Jason has just assembled his Church of The Ten-Legged One, this killer excerpt cuts deep into rationality:


"So, you ask, how can Jason Bock be serious about a religion that worships a false god?
Are you kidding?
You ever watch a football game and get totally into it? Why? It's not a real battle. It's just a game somebody made up. So how can you take it seriously? Or, you ever see a movie that made your heart about jump out of your chest? Or one that made you cry? Why? It wasn't real. You ever look at a photo of food that made your mouth water? Why? You can't eat the picture.
Ah, you say, but the food that the picture shows is real. Is it really? Maybe that tasty-looking apple is made of wax. Maybe that loaf of bread is plastic. Maybe the football game is fixed. Maybe the movie is nothing but computer-generated pixels. So it's not as if the picture shows you reality. What you see is somebody's idea of reality.
Same thing with water towers and God. I don't have to be a believer to be serious about my religion."

Heheh...this one's a thinker, no? Ultimately though, I guess Jason's logic is flawed mostly due to his religious role models who tell him all the time what God is supposed to be like, but never allows his own experiences to shape his faith. Now I'm not saying that young people should never be told what to do by their elders, but there's a reason why God didn't just send His legions of angels to earth and scare everyone into believing in Him.
All in all, easily one of the books I'll cherish most, given too the fact that I had to look hard for it! Though the ending fell a little short, as is the case with most stories that draw you in from the start with an incredible premise, it's still the first book in a long, long while attention-span-deficit me finished in one sitting. And that's a good thing.
Omigosh...did I just do a book review? Puh-leez! Are not the best tales in the land to be found right here under my nose? Continue to expect the slow trickle of updates till my term ends in a week's time, but I'll say for now that I'm very, very satisfied with how "The New Girl" is turning out. Not a hint of dragginess yet, and plenty of intruiging stuff going on. It's a throwback to the sweet days of "Blogspot", just with the added touch of CHARACTERISATION~! Look, I'm spelling it with an "s" instead of a "z"! I don't think that's ever been done before. :p
Till the next posting, then!

The New Girl, Chapter 13

Ah yes, I can see the finish line now, the end of the tunnel, the top of the mountain, anything you wish to call it...but every single day is drawing me closer to the holidays! Yesss! And the outlook for my semester has cleared remarkably over the past week. Couple that with a happy week of helping out in VBS (Vacation Bible School) where child-like faith reared its beautiful head - plus finding out at the last minute that I don't need to go to Penang after all - and you've got a happy yours truly here. But it isn't always about me, is it? No, it's about you enjoying my story...

May steadied her nerves and strode over to the table of chattering Indian girls. The din gradually lowered as they noticed her coming over. One of them nudged Saras.
"Why, why!" Saras looked up, pretending to be surprised. "What on earth could've brought our dear May to this table today?"
Every pair of eyes at the table drilled holes into her, probing for an explanation.
"Um, well," she fidgeted uncomfortably. "You were the one who asked me to meet you here."
"Oh yeah. So I did."
"So what is this all about?"
"Duh," Saras smirked. "So Jean has been feeding you stories about how badly we bullied her and that you're next?"
May scoffed and turned to go. "And I thought you had something worth my time."
"Wait. There's more."
"You know what?All of this is really making me sick. Why can't you people just leave that poor girl alone? It takes a real loser to keep frightening a cheerful and carefree girl into becoming someone so fearful and subdued. You might be able to make her buy all your black magic stuff, but if you think that's gonna work for me too, you've got something coming. The teachers are gonna know about this - trust me on that."
Saras understandably didn't seem too pleased. "I'll have a word with you on that another day. But I believe Jean's manage to trick you just like she tricked the other girl. What was her name again?"
"Misha." one of her friends said.
"Yup, Misha. You see, we never were witches. All that black magic and voodoo crap we told her, we were just fooling around."
"Now that's a surprise."
"But what we didn't count on was her really freaking out and picking up black magic herself. Now she's become so crazy that even we are afraid of her. I've tried telling her that we're not going to pick on her any more, but she's become so paranoid that it's no use."
As much as May disliked Saras, she felt a cold stab in her heart, the sort that comes when bitter truths reveal themselves.
"I don't know what she's planning next," Saras continued. "Somehow, she hasn't harmed us in any way so far. However, I can't say the same for you. She seems to have a thing for new girls."

The New Girl, Chapter 12

"What does it say?" Jean looked over her shoulder.
"I-it's from Saras." May showed her the note.
Jean carefully read it and scrunched up her face. Then she went through it over and over till May was sure she had memorised it. "They're doing it again."
"Doing what?"
"Messing around with your head. You know, making you think that I'm the enemy."
"Huh?" May's eyes darted through the sheet again. "I must've missed that."
"See?" Jean ran a finger across a line. "Guess you should have listened to my advice and not get too close to your good ol' buddy beside you. She's telling you that I'm part of the problem!"
"But what on earth is the problem?" How she wished things would be less confusing for just this once.
"I don't know. You won't know either. Only time will tell what Saras is capable of this time."
"Come on, it's just a dumb messa-"
"They're witches and they hate me, don't you get it! And now they're out to get you too, because you're on my side!"
May paused and swallowed. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jean, I know where you're coming from. But it isn't going to solve anything if we keep moaning and griping about how bad they are. Let's just show them that we're fed up with their bullying and go to the teachers. That would be the right thing to do."
"No it's not. You can trust me on this one. We've got to fight fire with fire."
"And that would mean?"
"I've been reading up a bit myself," Jean's eyes turned cold. "On their black magic and how it works. I'll tell you more in the garden later."
"But until then," she warned. "Make sure you steer clear of them."
May nodded solemnly. Not a chance, a voice in her head said. I'm going to confront Saras and get to the bottom of this mess first thing at recess.

The New Girl, Chapter 11

Like "anonymous" says in the chatterbox, I've certainly been blogging too much. Which is why five days of not updating feels like five lifetimes. However, it does seem that I've been neglecting some of the better parts of life to sit dumbly at a keyboard pounding away all day, be it blogging or Yahoo Graffiti.
And when will this story end? I've learnt my lesson and am not taking too many chances with keeping you guys in suspense - I try to include one plot point in every chapter now. So I say we're looking at no more than 40 chapters, likely done by February. Or March. This so reeks of "fishy promise"...
And perhaps it's due to the lack of people disrupting me MSN-ically or my desperation to sleep, but this must the first chapter in ages which took me less than an hour to write. Not that it doesn't fulfill your recommended daily dosage of Twisted Tales, though...

May stretched one last time and rolled out of bed. She still could not for the life of her figure out how she had ended up with so much time last night. In between staying back at the Secret Garden (which was now their official name for the place), household chores, and a steadily piling load of homework, she had expected to be up till one at least. But no, she was sound alseep by eleven. Which wasn't a bad thing at all.

"You gotta be kidding me." May cursed under her breath. That darn pinafore was still too short. No, it was in fact even shorter than yesterday - now it didn't even touch her kneecap. Not to mention that the waist seemed too tight as well.
"Mom!" She yelled crossly as she strode into the kitchen. "Why are my pinafores shrinking?"
"They are?"
"Yes. Look!" The hemline hovered mockingly out of reach.
"Hmm. That's weird. It's new, isn't it?"
"Yeeeeess."
It was so arousingly curious and yet infuriating at the same time. As much as May loved a good mystery as the next person, it was highly irritating at these kind of times. There was no choice but for her to go to school in the overly short skirt and hope not to be caught standing straight.

"Hey," Jean giggled. "It's even shorter than it was yesterday!"
"Oh no," May moaned, tugging at the skirt for all its worth. "Is it noticable?"
"Erm...quite."
She could swear it was shrinking by the minute. It would probably be a micro mini by the time school was over.
"Pst," A gap-toothed girl sitting opposite their table snapped her fingers their way. She held out a folded piece of paper to May. Surprised, May took it and read the messily penciled mesage inside:
"Dear May,
I realise that we're not the best of friends, but as a kind-hearted soul I feel that I should warn you about something. I notice that you're already showing the same symptoms as the previous girl did. Worse things will happen later on, but I can't be too sure yet. Guess you should have listened to my advice and not get too close to your good ol' buddy beside you. If you have any questions, feel free to approach me any time during recess. I'll be at the usual table with the rest of my girls.
Yours truly, Saras."

reCAPPENING: The New Girl, Chapters 6-10

Jean leads May over the school field fence into a lush and picturesque green meadow which she claims can only be reached through that way. The two girls enjoy themselves there for a while, during when May finds out that Jean's parents passed away when she was younger.
The next day is a really bad one for May, as she is apprehended by the prefects for her skirt being too short. Eventhough she claims it was perfectly fine last week, the prefects will have none of it and escort her to the discipline teacher's office, which in turn makes her late for class and unable to complete her unfinished homework. She spends the afternoon Jean's "secret garden" with her to let off some steam. Jean relates a tale or two about being bullied terribly by Saras' gang some time back, making her discover the "secret garden" which cured her constant unhappiness. May smiles and tries to comfort her, leading us into Chapter 11.

The New Girl, Chapter 10

Do you know who Eddie Guerrero is? He was a WWE wrestler who didn't quite have the "look" or build of a champion, but still could make people smile, boo, or simply drop their jaws in awe within a match. Simply speaking, he was one of the very few guys who made wrestling more than two guys in tights beating each other up in a scripted storyline. His fairy tale first title win in February 2004, which I watched with my very own eyes, still stands out as one of the most memorable matches in my memory. And the saddest thing is this - he passed away this morning at the all-too-young age of 38, probably an effect of his past addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs, just hours before he was likely to have won the WWE Heavyweight Championship for the second time.
Though I've lost a favourite wrestler, my heart goes out to his wife and three daughters who've lost a husband and father they love many more times than I do. How much Mr. Guerrero reminds me that even the kindest souls and toughest bodies are as mortal as can be. To the man who lied, cheated, and stole like no one else: Thank you for stealing my heart.

"So you wish you were forever young too." May giggled.
"No," Jean shook her head. "I just wish I could be carefree like this forever."
"Wouldn't that be nice."
Jean got up and stretched. She plucked a yellowed leaf off a branch and danced with it like it was some sort of prop. May couldn't help noticing how seemingly joyful the girl was, unlike the reserved self she usually was in class.
"Jean, how long have you been coming here?"
"I don't know," she shrugged playfully. "Ever since I felt unhappy being in school, I guess."
"Why were you unhappy?"
"Why else? Saras and her friends, of course."
"They picked on you?"
"Like there was no tomorrow. There was this once they forced me to erect this weird altar for them at the school field and worship at it twice a day, otherwise they would cast a spell on me."
May burst out laughing. "And you actually did it?"
"Hey, it's no laughing matter. I was really afraid of them and their witchcraft."
"Poor girl," May put an arm around her shoulder. "Don't you worry. I'm sure they're just babies who get bossed around a lot at home."
"You have no idea how terrifying it was, always having them look my way and mutter something. I almost expected creepy crawlies to come up my throat every time."
"Nah, that'll never happen. They're just making these stuff up to spook you out."
"No, you've really got to believe me," Jean's gaze grew intense. "I've seen stuff - blinking lights, moving furniture, talking dolls - it's enough to make you believe."
May was about to ask "Like what?" when she realised where Jean's overactive imagination was taking them. "Okay, let's drop the subject. Wonderful times like these shouldn't be spent talking about stuff like that."
Jean nodded in agreement. "Game for a round of checkers?"

The New Girl, Chapter 9

First off, a very deep-seated and heartfelt bow to Zhi Yong for doing something today in Sunday School Class that took a whole lot of guts. Indeed, real men aren't the ones who go about life stoically and laughing their problems away, and real friends aren't the ones who pretend that they completely understand your pains. Here's to real friends and real men. =) (and real women too, if you must)

May kicked the carpety grass once more petulantly, leaving a mark behind. It had been nothing short of a disaster of a day, starting from the dumb spot check to the meeting with the discipline teacher, to not being able to hand up her homework in time, to the subtle but mocking smirks of Saras and gang. Taking a walk with Jean in her "secret garden" calmed her uptight nerves, albeit slightly.
"Penny for yout thoughts?" Jean smiled.
"As if you don't know what my thoughts are."
"Well, it's a figure of speech. Still harping on the bad day, huh?"
May tugged at her skirt crossly, trying to make it cover her knees. "I still don't understand. It was perfectly fine when I first came to school."
They continued walking down the dirt path to a shadier part of the garden. Leafy trees reached up to the sky, clambering amongst each other to make sure the sun had a hard time poking through. Jean lugged her box of odds and ends noisily, interrupting the regular chorus of birds and insects. When they came to a dry patch between two towering trunks, she stopped.
"Here's a nice spot!" She laid a checkered cloth on the ground, so reminiscent of the childhood picnics May always had. "Did you remember to bring the bread?"
"Why, of course!" May indignantly held up a paper bag with a slightly squashed loaf of bread. "And did you bring the tuna?"
Jean stuck out her tongue and raised a can of sardines.

"Isn't this the most perfect place, the most perfect day ever?" Jean murmured dreamily as they munched on their sandwiches, listening to N Sync, Jean's "most favouritest band ever" on a battery-operated radio which May had no idea was even inside the box.
"Yes to the former. Not quite sure about the latter."
"No, I mean isn't this the best day ever when you're here?"
May wasn't quite sure what she meant. "Mm hmm."
"Don't you wish we could just come here everyday?"
"Quite."
"This reminds me of the book Peter Pan. My mom read it to me when I was little."
"How nice of her," said May. "Haha, I watched it on home video."
Jean didn't laugh; instead she frowned and suddenly started rummaging through the box. After much effort, she managed to fish out a dog-eared paperback.
"Ah, here it is," She opened it and read the first page:
"All children, except one, grow up. They soon know that they will grow up, and the way Wendy knew was this. One day when she was two years old she was playing in a garden, and she plucked another flower and ran with it to her mother. I suppose she must have looked rather delightful, for Mrs. Darling put her hand to her heart and cried, "Oh, why can't you remain like this for ever!" This was all that passed between them on the subject, but henceforth Wendy knew that she must grow up. You always know after you are two. Two is the beginning of the end."

The New Girl, Chapter 8

Having a day off due to Graduation Campaign class being cancelled (which in turn is because of almost everyone being at the IDN (idN?) Conderence), I suddenly found the urge to rewrite Ghostopia! Or rather, doing a detailed outline. Not by sitting down in front of the computer, but utilising the good old-fashioned way of scribbling stuff down on a notepad. Tweaks on the character backgrounds here and there, throwing out those unneccessary plot devices, and fashioning a climax appear to have done wonders for the story - why, you might even see it on the next episode of "Extreme Makeover"! Nah, just kidding. You'll most likely get to read it at the end of this year, when a (shudder) permanent school holiday will give me more time than I need. The mere thought of it is enough to send me scurrying to the comfort of The New Girl, Chapter Eight. Now THAT'S how you change topics.

"Girls, please remain in line for a short while. We'll be conducting a spot check on your attire."
A collective groan rose from the crowd. It was, as you might have guessed, Monday morning assembly time and the sudden spot check couldn't have come at a worse time for May. She'd hoped to rush off to class early to complete some unfinished Math homework. Amid an undercurrent of grumblings the students put down their bags and continued standing, waiting for the prefects to go through each line.
Come on, hurry up! The prefects seemed to be taking their sweet time showing off their prowess in spotting wrongs in uniforms.
At last a snotty-faced prefect came to her. She cocked up a lip and eyed May from head to toe, as if checking a present for defects. It made May mightily uncomfortable, more so when she was used to being the one who checked others.
"Your skirt is too short."
"WHAT?!" May retorted much louder than she expected herself to. She looked down to see for herself. It was a rather debatable case. The hemline was howering somewhere near the upper edge of her kneecap.
"I said, your skirt is too short. It's above your knee."
"Nonsense. It fitted fine just last week."
"Well, then you must have grown taller over the weekend."
Somehow, her candid remark irked May. "I wish you'd use some sense when talking."
She glared daggers at her. "Go stand at the back. NOW."
Scowling to herself, May marched to the back with the rest of the "delinquents", as she used to call them. You had your regular collection of girls with streaks of red in their hair, overly elaborate earrings, illegal fringes, and the short-skirted ones like her. It would have been an utterly humiliating experience were it not for the fact that no one knew her here.

Writer's Block: The Perfect Couple

A perfect boy met a perfect girl
All stood still in their world
He was handsome, she was pretty
They smiled at each other sweetly
It was, of course, love at first sight
Under the purple starlit night
He whisked her away for a movie
Holding hands, happy as could be
A rom-com starring John Cusack,
They talked about it all the way back
"I'll call you tomorrow," he told her
She nodded, heart aflutter
Her phone rang the next night at ten
They chatted for hours to no end
More and more they felt less alone
He couldn't bear to put down the phone
They showered each other with gifts
Valentines, birthdays, even New Years' Eves
The gifts were lovely, handmade with heart
All so that they would never be apart
It was a perfect romance all the while
They cared, they shared, they made each other smile
Amidst the kisses, hugs, and I love yous
The two would be together forever, that eveyone knew

Then it all came to an abrupt end
They chose to just become good friends
What went wrong? Was there a problem no one saw?
Maybe couples aren't meant to be perfect after all.

The New Girl, Chapter 7

Ah, yes...the pieces are falling nicely into place now. After a bout of initial fear of a wishy-washy direction for the story, some holiday head-clearing has got me thinking that The New Girl could really go places. But oh well, a lot could happen between Chapter 7 and who-knows-when...
On another note, it seems to be a mightily bad time for me to get addicted to Yahoo Graffiti...ooh, those evil marketing people!

"More chips, madame?" Jean curtsied, fake French accent all too apparent.
May looked up from the box she was rummaging through and smiled. "Of course, my dear Mademoiselle."
The two girls laughed heartily and took a sip each from the frosted can of root beer. Jean teased spitting it into May's face, making her respond with the ever-frightening flurry of tickles.
"You know what?" May sighed as they ended up flat back on the ground. "All we're missing now are some kites."
"Kites," Jean mumbled wishfully. "Yeah, those would be real good."
"I used to have this utterly humongous kite at home," May stretched her arms out as wide as she could. "My father helped me make it. I still remember, we spent almost an entire three weeks on it. But when we managed to get it up in the sky, I don't know which one of us both were happier."
Jean smiled sadly. "It must be great having a father like that. Mine passed away when I was four."
"Oh," May didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's okay. We were never that close anyway."
"Does that mean you're staying with your mom now?"
"Nope! Passed away when I was seven. I'm staying with my aunt now."
Wow, May thought. Behind her facade of smiles and laughter, Jean had had her parents lost at an age when most children were still being pampered with toys and goodies.
"The funny thing about being an orphan is that it always shows," she continued. "You try your best to act normal like everyone else, but they see through you right away. And they're all like, 'It's okay.' "
"What do you think, May? Is it okay?" May was caught off-guard by her sudden question.
"Umm...there are always ups and downs to everything. It all depends on which side you're looking from."
She nodded. "Guess so."
A calm silence lingered in the air.
"Oh, no!" May leapt up suddenly. "We have to go back now, or else we're going to be late for class!"
"Oh, don't you worry. I've been here a thousand times before, and never once have I been late for class. Come on now, up and about."
Shrugging to herself, May followed Jean past the fairy tale-like fields back to the difficult fence, all the while thinking - how on earth did Jean come across this place? Was it even real in the first place?

The New Girl, Chapter 6

"Come on, it's just behind this fence." Jean called to May.
The two were standing in front of the wiring which ran around the school field. May, half-drenched in sweat, was already starting to feel silly. Reccess would probably be over soon.
"We have to climb over that?"
"Of course, silly." Jean stepped on a crack in the fence and lifted herself over to the other side easily.
May didn't really want to go jumping over fences and all in her pinafore, but was eventually coaxed into it by an overly enthusiastic Jean. Oh please, please, let there only be the two of us here, she prayed.
She placed her foot on the crack and jumped over the fence. Thankfully no ripping sounds were heard as she tumbled unsteadily onto the damp grass.
"All right, so what's the big deal?" May asked, a bit crossed.
"Aha, you'll see, you'll see," Jean stepped over a log. "It's just right ahead!"
Oh man, May groaned to herself. We are so going to get it from the prefects.
They ventured further in the grassy compound which was starting to resemble some sort of nature park. The refreshing chirp of birds mirrored the slight breeze which never seemed to go away. Patches of wild flowers added colour to the green carpet beneath their feet. May almost expected an elephant to suddenly pop up from behind a cluster of trees.
They'd been walking for almost five minutes now without saying a word. She checked her watch again. Ten-forty. Sigh.
Finally Jean stopped at a clearing. "Welcome to my playground."
May couldn't quite believe her eyes. Luscious green fields stretched on for what must be miles and miles, the kind you read about only in the pages of Enid Blyton. The sun beamed kindly in the blue and white sky, allowing the lingering breeze to carry the songs of the birds.
"J...Jean, where are we?"
"I don't know," she smiled as a butterfly rested on her hair. "You can only come here through the way I showed you."
It was so utterly picturesque, so perfect that May didn't know what to say. Her heart melted when she saw a family of rabbits playing at the foot of a hill.
"Go ahead, knock yourself out." Jean grinned as she dragged out a crate cleverly hidden between two trees. It was filled to the brim with snacks, canned drinks, board games, story books, and heaps of other what-nots.

reCAPPENING: The New Girl, Chapters 1-5

The story kicks off with May moving to a new all-girls school, where her classmates all act cold towards her except for a girl called Jean. It doesn't take May long to get introduced to Saras and her gang, the resident bullies of the school, when they tease her at the canteen. Jean tells May that the group are actually witches who once made a girl who ratted on them so sick she had to leave school.
Things become worse when Saras' gang takes May's money after she refuses to tell them whether Jean said they were witches. Angered, May vows to Jean that she'll tell the teachers, but Jean says it wouldn't be a good idea considering what happened to the other girl. Instead, she asks May to follow her to check out a better solution, leading us into Chapter 6.

The New Girl, Chapter 5

Year Two of Twisted Tales kicks off with the continuation of the potentially critically-acclaimed The New Girl! 'Nuff said.

May stormed into class angrily and sat at her desk, making some of the other girls look. However, they resumed their conversations after a few seconds of staring.
Jean put down the book she was reading, curious what May was so angry about. "Care to share?"
"I have never - NEVER - felt so humiliated in my life," she spat. "Saras and her gang - they emptied my purse and warned me not to tell anyone."
Jean's mouth opened in shock.
"They also asked me if you told me about them being witches, and when I wouldn't say they got angry. I mean, who do they think they are? They don't look tough or anything - nothing but strength in numbers. Nothing else but that. And it's working because everyone else's so scared over nothing. Well, not me."
Jean remained quiet and nodded.
"I'm going to tell the principal about this," she fumed. "I don't care how badly they threaten me or how long you people have been putting up with this, someone's gotta put them in their place."
"I-it doesn't work that way," Jean muttered softly. "Remember that girl I told you about? The one who ratted on them? She was my best friend."
"What exactly happened to her?"
"She was new like you, and just as determined to make a change. When Saras' gang first tried taking her money, she kicked up a major fuss and brought it to the principal's office. When the principal couldn't act without proof, she went to her parents instead. The parents, who had some sort of bigshot connection in the Education Ministry, threatened to sue the school if they didn't make Saras apologise. Then the girl suddenly got sick for no reason, always complaining of aches all over and weird sicknesses none of us ever heard of. Within a few weeks she stopped coming to school. The last we heard, her family moved out of town."
May frowned, trying to digest what she just heard. "Maybe they went away for other reasons."
"Guess again. Whatever reasons that made them leave, they weren't natural. Saras' black magic was at work."
"B-but surely there's something we can do."
Jean smiled strangely. "Why, actually there is. But we musn't let anyone else know about it. Come follow me." She got up and dragged May out of the classroom with her.
May didn't know what to say or think. She'd expected problems fitting in right away at a new school, but this was getting beyond problematic.

Writer's Blocke de la Anniversaire

In another desperate attempt to boost readership, I've resorted to pseudo-French headlines designed to make you feel sophisticateur! Feel the raw genius lingering thick in the air...
Felt it? Good.
It's the final day of a festivity-laden month, and time for me to pick my butt up from the comfort of having finished a satisfying Special October Feature to deliver the Year In Review piece I promised. My, my, the things I do for y'all. Now, it would be extremely tempting here for me to rattle off a foot-long post, but you know how self-praising and delusional I always end up in those. So short and sweet'll be the order of the day.

I guess I've always been the sort of person who needs a project to tend to at all times. Heck, everyone's like that. Whether it's our wardrobe, our car, our households, or ourselves, we all need something to nurture and keep adding on to till we get that warm fuzzy feeling inside. I was having a conversation with a friend about how crazy we used to get over Utopia (an online game which requires you to log in about twice a day at least). We'd stare with unblinking eyes at the same page for almost an hour comparing how the networth of our provinces fared against others, call each other daily discussing kingdom issues, even organise MSN chat sessions devoted entirely to taking down enemies at war...you get the idea. And don't even get me started on setting the alarm clock to go off at 4am so that we could attack an enemy province as soon as our armies returned...of course I've don't wake up at unearthly hours to blog, but it's become the new Utopia in my life.

So why "slog" (that's "story log" for you) in the first place? You might recall me mentioning in "I Interviews Myself" that the idea for Twisted Tales started from my friend Tommy talking about Dungeons and Dragons, a pencil-and-paper role-playing game where you have a game master conjuring scenarios for the rest of the players to react to. Based on their reactions, the game master would continue developing more little storylines till the mission was complete.
Take that, a realisation of the blogging medium, combined with a restless mind, and you had the catalyst for Twisted Tales.

Of course, it's difficult to get enough reader participation to make it totally D&D-like, but the odd suggestion or two is always welcome. Slogging is the perfect solution for someone like me who wants to blog all the time, but isn't exactly able to make mundane things like going for class and having dinner seem like a must-read. So simple enough; I blog when something interesting happens, I slog when nothing does!

If there's anything I've learnt, it's that writing stories like these isn't all about fun and putting down what comes to mind. True, there should be a certain degree of "feel" to it, but relying too much on such spontaneity produces something fit only for a good laugh with friends. Real entertaining storylines, which is the first requirement for stories when you dissect it, need proper planning with a set opening, middle and ending in mind.

So yeah...it's been a wonderful year of learning stuff like that and so much more. The high times - like the first month when "Blogspot" was flowing freely and the visitors were pouring in - were real high indeed while the lows - Ghostopia's premature ending, boo hoo hoo - still had silver linings to be found, and through it all the rush of discovering a new unexpected tag on the chatterbox has always been the biggest motivation. Yups, that's my cue to thank all of you who've ever dropped by or given a shoutout! It makes all the difference, really.

What then, should I hope to do in the next 365 days for Twisted Tales' sake? For starters, re-write Ghostopia and get it posted up here...I'd hoped to kill two birds by writing it for that NaNoWriMo thingy (National Novel Writing Month), but November's too much of a killer. Probably December, January, or February's better. Should also stop being so overly careful in my writing, which is what's making me spend so much time blogging anyway. And yadda yadda yadda...may I continue to reach out and touch the hearts of millions around the world with my continually-improving stories and poems...unroll your eyes, you.

That's it. I've said all I wanted to say. Yeah! Everyone, dim the lights, light the candles, and bring out the cake! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TWISTED TALES!

*Clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap!*

Special October Feature: Ten Things I Love About You, Twisted Tales (No. 1)

ANDDD...
ANDDD...
It is upon us folks - the grand finale, the moment of truth, the pinnacle which every last post to ever grace the pages of Twisted Tales has held lofty dreams of someday scaling! If you've been following this series so far, you'll know how I've laid claim to so many past entries on the chart to be "one of the best", "one I'm proudest of", and all that. Therefore, Pick Number One should be no less than something so utterly brilliant, so magnificently thought-provoking and beautifully prosed that nothing else I've written for a full year can hold a light to it, right?
Well, you could always put it that way. Of course, do remember that the best things in life are seldom number one.
Anyways, enough with the forced suspense! Our Special October Feature concludes with today's piece, "Paper Frogs" which tells the familiar Christian message of salvation. It's one of my earliest Writer's Blocks and also my first Twisted Tales poem, but all the right ingredients were there for one heck of a message.
Each time I read it, the first two frogs remind me more of people I know who simply will not accept a very logical explanation to life and the afterlife. It's cutesy when you're able to read the poem like a "big picture" and laugh at how foolish the frogs are, but as we go about our lives from a much lower point of view, are we not paper frogs ourselves being watched by Someone waiting for us to acknowledge that we cannot make ourselves jump?
Twelve months of posting, over 200 posts, and it's come down to this - my most favourite Twisted Tales post E-VAA! Ladies and gentlemen, a rousing applause please for...

Pick No.1: Paper Frogs
First posted on 23rd January 2005

Three paper frogs
Sat and talked.
"What do we do?
Now that we're here."

"We should jump,"
Said one frog.
"That's what frogs
Do all the time."

"Why should we?"
Asked another.
"We seem fine
Just sitting here."

"I have heard,"
The third frog quipped.
"That to jump
Is to be free
For eternity."

The frogs frowned.
"How do we jump?"
"Who can we ask?"
"Why should we jump?"

"I wish to jump,"
Said the first frog.
"By all means,
I will find a way."

"Bah, nonsense."
Second frog scoffed.
"Shallow-mindedness!
Jumping because
Others tell you to."

"Here's a thought,"
The third frog said.
"Create ourselves,
We did not.
Wouldn't it then,
Be fitting that
We seek help from,
He who made us?"

The other two
Listened and thought.
"Too much trouble."
Yawned the first.
"I never liked
Chasing others.
Are there no Easier ways?
I think I shall
Seek answers
ALL BY MYSELF."

"You bunch of fools,"
Laughed the second.
"Frogs need not jump,
They can crawl.
Jump to be free?
That's funny.
HE EXISTS NOT."

Sadly the third
Shook his head.
"Very well then,
Let us part.
I hope we shall
Meet once more
And be happy
FOR ETERNITY."

With that the frogs
Went their ways.
Time passed on
They lived on.

Then came a day
All frogs dread.
He picked the three
And dropped them
In a hollow.

"Where is this?"
Cried One and Two.
"It's a dustbin."
Replied the third.

"What happens next?"
"We get disposed."
"And then where?"
"Filth, stench, dirt,
Rotting trash,
TILL YOU ROT TOO."

"No!" They both weeped.
"What can we do?"
"I'm sorry
You chose this path."

With one last tear
The first frog
Looked at his friends

"Come, join me."
A voice smiled.
First frog rejoiced
As a finger
Pressed his rear
And made him jump
Out of the trash.

Where he jumped
Happily
FOR ETERNITY.

The New Girl, Chapter 4

After a full week of not updating this story, here we go again - not a moment too soon? It really kept me tossing and turning the whole week, deciding if there were any better ways to tell the story. But guess I'll have to end up trying the time-tested method of thinking as I write...the stage is yours, Chapter Four!

Second day of her so far less-than-thrilling time at her new school, and already May was standing face to face with one of her biggest foes - the basketball hoop. It was PE class, and the girls were taking turns throwing the ball through the hoop. With much success, noted May uncomfortably.
"Next!"
It was her turn. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Saras sniggering to her gang. Jean, meanwhile, was only smiling faintly.
May pursed her lips, aimed with a face so focused it would've put any NBA player to shame, and flung the ball as hard as she could. It sputtered midair five feet away from the hoop and bounced back feebly on the floor. Drat.
"Hmm...no good," the coach, a woman in her thirties whom Jean liked to call "Mrs. Frumpy", frowned. "Try again."
Saras coughed loudly on purpose as May strode over to pick up the ball. May flashed a brief scowl at her and went back to the three-point line. Aim and toss, but once again the lack of skill - not to mention height - told. Nowhere near the target.
Mrs. Frumpy shook her head. "Next!"

"Hello, May," an ominous group of Indian girls blocked her path as she was walking to the canteen for reccess. "Where's that good friend of yours?"
It was, of course, Saras and her gang. They quickly spread out, somewhat pinning May to the wall.
"Jean? I dunno, she went somewhere."
"So you two are like best buds now, huh?" Saras drew her face closer, making May feel uneasy.
"Well, she's been the only one who has bothered being nice to me."
A collective Oooh rose from her gang, prompting Saras to corner her with their help. "You've got some nerve to say that. Do you know how many friends I have around here?"
May remained quiet. She had been a prefect in her old school, and she knew Saras' sort. They wouldn't be satisfied till they established their superiority over others. Sometimes, if you were lucky, they preferred picking on those who fought back instead of those who gave in.
"Jean must have told you a lot about us," Saras said. "Did she say it yet?"
May shrugged her shoulders.
Saras clicked her tongue and slapped her mildly. "Don't play dumb. Did she say we're witches?"
"I really don't know."
"That's it. Take her money, girls."