Wednesday, October 12, 2005

The Hardest Writer's Block I've Had To Write

Hey, you there.
Why the strange title, you ask? Sighhh...let me explain.
Ghostopia has been discontinued for the time being. Yups, you heard it here first!
It's never easy putting an end to something, more so when it's something you've grown so attached to you spend hour upon hour nurturing it, wishing it eventually becomes something you can be proud of.
Problems start appearing and you try to fix them, but they breed more problems and before you know it, what was supposedly perfect is now riddled with flaws. That's when the what ifs and if onlys come out.
What makes people drag themselves on in such situations? It borrows references from the Battered Wife Syndrome - you know, about wives who are abused daily but still continue living with their husbands. One, there always is this glimmer of hope that things can change. You keep looking at it from all points of view that ultimately come only from yourself, and draw the conclusion that things aren't all bad.
Then, there is the matter of pride. Pride not in the regular I'm-better-than-you way, but in not admitting that you were wrong all the while. Knowingly or not, all of us have this hidden in some part of us, be it seen to others or not. For a battered wife to walk away from her marriage would be akin to painting a sign that says "So I was a fool all those years" for all to see, and that's difficult in more ways than we can imagine.
End of referencing, I sincerely apologise if any lines were crossed.
The past 2-3 months have been a constant struggle for me to maintain the balance of entertaining readers of this blog and actually furthering myself as a writer. At the end of the day, I always have to ask the question of which objective I set out to accomplish back when I started this blog. Or is there any way both can be fulfilled at the same time?
And when exactly did my blog stop becoming entertaining?
Of course, the lesson learnt is that writing comes in many forms and mediums. There's a time and place for dramatic fast-paced tales, and another for long-drawn multi-layered "novelisations". Twisted Tales is meant for the former, and Ghostopia is the latter. I know, I know, I've mentioned this countless times in previous Writer's Blocks, but this really was the problem all the while. In fact, I'm kicking myself now for not noticing it when I've been mentioning it in almost every Writer's Block. Nope, Ghostopia did not suck, and I'll do a whole lot of word-eating if I don't manage to turn it into something brilliant in the future.
Indeed, it makes me feel very much like a lousy writer and a fraud that I won't get to deliver the climax after having led all of you on the thrilling-at-times ride that was Ghostopia. But unpopular decision or not, I don't care - I desperately need the rush I felt writing new twists three times a week. Hey, that reminds me why I named it "Twisted Tales" in the first place! =^)
So goodbye Darren, goodbye Kat, goodbye Nelson, let's fire ourselves up for the - FINALLY! - fourth story. I see, with my mind's eye, a story inspired by the movie "Simon Birch" and a conversation by two secondary-school boys I had some time back. Aha...the mists are parting, and I see a secondary school...some rowdy gangsters...of course, a slapdash of puppy love lies in the midst. Interested? I know I sure am.
New story's likely gonna be up in a week, if I'm a man of my word, and every chance I get I'll re-write that darned Ghostopia. Will have to work out a system for that - either posting each Chapter or the whole story straight. Lots of structuring to fix, plus getting rid of those plot devices I ended up not using. Remember the mysterious girl who sang at The Haunt? That was supposed to be Kat's alter ego, hohoho. And I still can't believe nobody noticed - every performance in that place was by a dead artiste! Selena, Elvis, John Lennon, John Denver, Kurt I hear your foreheads smacking?
Well well, that concludes the hardest Writer's Block I've had to write. And it just had to come right smack during our big month of October. But everyone knows there's good and bad to all, so do check back for the good!

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