Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Writer's Block Presents...So You Think You Know Direct Sales? (Part 2)

Confession time: I broke up this feature to two parts because:
1) It wound up much longer than I expected.
2) I had been spending almost two weeks writing it with whatever little time I could squeeze in between breaks in office. And a three-week absence can be pretty damaging to my prospects of Blog Of The Year.

So anyway, here's the thrilling conclusion to So You Think You Know Direct Sales?:

Scene 4: The Meeting

(You see him and take a seat)

X: Hey! How are you?
You: I'm fine, I'm fine.
Didn't you ask me that yesterday, dum-dum?
X: Heh, good to hear that. I'm fine myself.

(Some exchange of pleasantries and ordering of drinks later)

X: So...what're you doing now? Working, or studying?
Here it comes! He's gonna try convert me now!
You: I'm still studying...
X: Ah, I see...
Begonebegonebegonebegonebegone.
X: Hey man, why so tense? Just wanted to meet you up for some friendly conversation, that's all.
You: Huh? For real?
X: Yeah! What were you thinking?
You: Oh, well...it's really really dumb...but I had this teeny weeny shadow of a thought that you might be...
X: Trying to get you to join direct sales?
You: Errr...yeah.
X: Hahaha, what a thought! Why, you're afraid of direct sales?
You: Kinda.
X: Oh, puh-leez!

(Mamak dude brings drinks to table)

X: You know, that day I was having lunch with a colleague. We were talking about work, when all of a sudden he started talking to me about direct sales!
You: Seriously! How did he start?
X: Haha, it was real funny! He started asking me, "Have you given any thought to your future?"
You: Hah! And what did you say?
X: Nothing! I just continued eating!

(He laughs. You try to laugh.)

X: Oh, man...I can still remember the look on his face...it was so funny.
You: I bet it was.
Okay. Only one quarter of the glass left, and I'm ready to leave. Maybe I will get out unscathed after all.
X: But, seriously...have you given any thought to your future?
You: Erm...what do you mean?
X: Like, what are you going to do after you graduate?
You: ...Work?
X: And then? Continue working till you're 55?
You: I don't know...never gave much thought to stuff like these.
X: If you're not going to think about it now, then when?

(You take a sip from your glass)

X: But fear not, it's still not too late! There still is hope for your future...your future...your future...
That voice...it's making me...sleepy...
X: You must do it for your future...your future...your future...
Must...not...listen...
X: Millions have joined...and you're next...you're next...you're next...
You: I am next...I am next...I am next...
I am next...I am next...I am next...
X: Now sign it...sign it...sign it...
You: Yes...my Lord...yes...my Lord...yes...my Lord...

(Suddenly!)

Blond spiky-haired skinny guy who slouches funnily when he walks:
LengchaiDVDVCDngammou?
X: Har? Meh si?

(You snap out of your daze)

You: W-what's going on here? What's this pen and form doing in my hands?
Blond spiky-haired skinny guy who slouches funnily when he walks: Wah! Dilect sell ah! Dilect sell ah!
X: NYARGHHHH! Curses! You've ruined...everything!
You: So you ARE a direct sales member! And to think I almost fell into your trap!

(He grabs his hidden briefcase and flees)

X: Today belongs to you...but tomorrow shall always be MINE!!! NYAH HAHAHAHAHA!

(Mysteriously vanishes)

You: Phew. I'll bet I haven't seen the last of him yet.
Blond spiky-haired skinny guy who slouches funnily when he walks: Yaloh, yaloh.
You: Hey, thanks for helping me out there. What's your name?
Blond spiky-haired skinny guy who slouches funnily when he walks: Pipper call me Varentino.
You: Varentino. Cool.
Varentino: Hee hee hee.
You: Wanna have a drink? In return for, you know, what you did.
Varentino: OK.

(You both sit down and order drinks)

Varentino: Ei...so VCD you ngam or not?

1 comment:

- ashley - said...

wahahaHAA!!!! cool. I like the ending :)