Yawn. Enjoying the World Cup so far, people?
Once in a fabled land far beyond the seven seas, the Gods of this world convened for an important assembly.
They had all been summoned by their King, the Supreme Deity Of The Universe to address a grave situation. Apparently an usurper to the royal throne had been arrested on the grounds of impersonating the king. Now the Gods had to decide the measure of punishment to be meted out upon this vile pretender.
First the God of Sight, Youtube spoke. "My fellow Gods, understand that this is no petty crime we can afford to overlook. This impostor has deceived the masses into believing that he is the One True Supreme Deity, superseding even the sovereign rule of our King. I call treason of the highest order."
The God of Personality, Blogspot shoke His head solemnly. "I fear it may be too late to reverse the damage. What is done is done. Regardless the scale of our punishment, confusion has already settled in the midst of the people."
"Be not quick to judge, lest we be judged." opined MSN, the God of Conversation. "This criminal, as you all call him, was once a God just like us. He must be judged in the same way any of us would. Open your ears to his defense, I plead."
"You are mistaken," snarled Blogspot. "He cannot be tried as a God, for he is no longer one of us. Once he commits a crime, he loses all rights to divinity."
All eyes turned to Google, the God of Knowledge. "There is more to the story than most of you know. This impostor was more than just a common God. He once ruled the land of the mortals too."
A faint gasp resonated around the ivory hall. Most of the younger Gods were unaware of this.
"Ah, yes. Like our King, the nature of his powers ensured that he found much favour with the common folk. Very quickly, he brought the people together and commanded their reverence from realms far and wide. As days passed, more heard about this powerful new God and they too journeyed to present their offerings. For the longest time, his supremacy was unrivalled."
"Until the day our current King came into existence. Though similar in appearance, it wasn't long before the people realised how much more he could do. He met more than their present needs; he opened their eyes to new yearnings they never realised before. He blessed them with bountiful farms, loving creature companions and more."
"Over time, people stopped worshipping the old God as their hearts were captivated by this new One. And when Gods lose their worshippers, they lose their powers. Thus, he became a fallen God."
"His attempts at masquerading as You, O Great King, are mere visions of glory past."
All the Gods stared in stony silence at the accused.
"What is on your mind?" queried Twitter, the God of Brevity.
"I need no words." declared the accused, Friendster. "For my conscience is clear."
"Silence, traitor!" the Supreme Deity Of The Universe, Facebook could hold his calm no more. "I gave the people everything they needed. In return, they rightly turned away from you, an inadequate God. Now you dare mock me and deceive my worshippers with cheap imitations of my powers, swaying their pure minds!"
"You will never be half the God I am, you hear me? I am the greatest of all, now and forever more. The people need me. They never needed you. Beg for your mercy, brave fool, or forever suffer my wrath."
Friendster remained expressionless. "I believe no God is greater than the other. The people are free to choose."
All the other Gods shook their heads in unison at this remorseless blasphemer. Surely there was no justification for his pardon now.
"Very well then," seethed Facebook. "I condemn you to an eternity in wretched captivity."
At his command, two fearsome angels appeared beside Friendster, binding him in chains of fire. "Where shall we take him to, my Lord?"
"Throw him into the Dungeon of Irrelevance." his voice boomed. "Beside ICQ."
Uh-oh! thought the other Gods.