Thursday, May 03, 2007

The World's Shortest Stories Of Love And Death

As promised, some delightful pages from The World's Shortest Stories Of Love And Death (refer to previous post). And they're really all 55 words long. Go count!

#1 Perfect Opening Line

A dozen bodies of women with slashed throats.

Never a sign of forced entry.

Detectives were baffled.

Meanwhile, the slasher was on the prowl again.

"Piece of cake," he sneered.

Knock, knock.

"Go away!"

"Your husband's with my wife tonight! Please! We have to talk!"

Door opens abruptly.

Works like a charm, as he grabs her.

#2 The Climb

Three men started climbing 90 floors. The elevators were out until Monday, and Sam had to have the papers over the weekend. As they hiked the towering flights, the men busied themselves telling sad, painful stories. On the 90th floor, Sam's story was the most painful.

"I forgot the key," he gasped, then dropped dead.

#3 To Air Is Human

Wrapped in bloody bandages, tubes stretching from his body, the accident victim gestured frantically to the attending priest. Desperate, unable to speak, he scribbled a message. Then, with a gasp, his breathing stopped.

After administering the last rites, the priest turned to read the dying man's final words: "You're standing on my air tube."

#4 Modern Medicine

Blinding headlights, deafening crash, searing pain, absolute blackness, then the warm, welcoming, clear blue light, irresistibly beckoning. John felt gloriously happy, youthful, and free as he strolled into the enveloping radiance.

Slowly, the pain and darkness returned. John's swollen eyes agonizingly opened - bandages, tubes, casts, both legs missing, his tearful wife.

"They saved you, Honey!"

#5 In The Beginning

She was mad at him. They had almost everything in their idyllic life, but she coveted the one thing they lacked. Only his cowardice stood in the way.

She would dump him, but she couldn't yet, so she would resort to cunning and seduction. Naked and beautiful, she grabbed the fruit.

"Adam," she called softly.

And my hands-down favourite...

#6 Forever Star Crossed

"Come on, kiss me - nobody's watching."

The young couple embraced.

"We shouldn't meet like this."

"Says who?"

"Everybody. My family doesn't like you. My mom says you're not right for me."

"Yeah, mine too. But who cares?"

"I sure don't. Because I love you, James."

"And I love you too, Gary."

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