Men's Restroom Etiquette

I was going through my old Hotmail junk when I remembered this email from almost 5 years back. One of those Funny Bone subscription things. Read it again, and just as hilarious and insightful as the first time. So I'm sharing it with you guys. You know it's gonna be good!

Men should ace this test ... women may have a little difficulty.
There IS a code of "Restroom Etiquette" that MUST be followed.

The following is the urinal configuration in a sample men's room.
An "X" above the number indicates "urinal is in use."

(Sample):

|---|---| x |---|---| x |
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------

(Indicates urinals 3 and 6 are occupied.)

You are to identify correctly, based on urinal etiquette, at which stall you are to stand. Good luck!

#1) Easy

|---| x |---| x |---|---| (Urinals 2 and 4 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------
Your choice: ___

#2) Easy

| x |---|---|---|---|---| (Urinal 1 occupied.)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------
Your choice: ___

#3) Kind of tricky

|---|---|---|---|---|---| (empty)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------
Your choice: ___

#4) Kind of tricky

|---| x |---| x |---| x | (2, 4 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------
Your choice: ___

#5) Subtle, tricky, but important to know

|---| x |---|---| x | x | (2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------
Your choice: ___

#6) VERY tricky indeed

| x | x |---|---| x | x | (1, 2, 5 and 6 occupied)
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
-------------------------------
Your choice: ___

Correct Answers:

#1: Stall 6
It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.

#2: Stall 6
Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

#3: Stall 1 or 6
You are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."

#4: Stall 1
You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium restrooms where the herd thunders in.

#5: Stall 4
Believe it or not, 1 and 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice to say, only we men would understand!

#6: Stall - NONE!
You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for goodness' sake... use a doored stall!

Other parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

-- NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.
-- I don't think I need to tell you, absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is of the highest offense.
-- NO Singing. Period.
-- Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again".