Writer's Block Presents...mOkKiEs' Reluctant Attempt At A Tag

As if it hasn't been a strange enough day already - almost an entire day of rain, nothing but slow instrumental songs on the radio, and then the passing of our beloved First Lady, Datin Seri Paduka Endon Mahmood. Of course, the latter might have or have not caused one of the former to happen. Either way, one really wonders what sort of superman our Prime Minister has to be to continue pulling through in a situation like this. Shouldering most of the blame of the common folk for the perpetually bad economy doesn't help either.
Pray. Do pray.
But that bit of grieving aside, we move on to what must be one of the most ridiculously absurd posts in recent history. Alas, I've succumbed to peer pressure and am now in danger of revealing more about myself in this one post than all the previous ones combined. You guessed it, I...I...I...have been TAGGED!
Oh, the incredulity of it all! It's like Spiderman taking off half his mask! COME ON! Surely Mr. My-Blog-Is-Too-Cool-To-Talk-About-Daily-Personal-Stuff-That-No-One-Else-Cares-About-Like-The-Rest-Of-The-Retarded-Population isn't going to forsake his values and answer to a girly ol' tag?
He isn't, right?

Oh, mannnn....

7 things you plan to do before you die

1) Get married and have kids? No, seriously. Hopefully I'll be able to do it in that order, wink wink winkety wink.
2) Write some sort of book and get it published and sold? No, make that a series of books. And then you - yes, YOU, staring at the screen - can say, "Ohhh...I've been reading his stuff since X-number-of-years-back, when he was posting them online."
3) You know, lately I've been wishing I could teach something I'm good in to a bunch of kids. Not neccessarily kids, but a group of people whom I can see grow and learn from me. But no PMR/ SPM tuition please; that is so...erm, lifeless.
4) Of course, I gotta have some sort of ambition related to my supposed line of work. I wish that I can utilise the powers of Visual Communication to address some of societies' problems! Not sure how or when, but it's surely gotta be done.
5) Perform onstage in a theatre or musical! I'm still spellbound after watching Romi and Joo Lee dan Lain-lain. Not that I should, but...
6) Wanted to note down "travel" at first, but that's so generic. More specifically, I wanna go watch a live WWE event! Yummy yummy...not one of those dumb tours where you know who's gonna win and all though.
7) Go around being an ambassador of God...however, this really doesn't seem like one of those once-in-a-lifetime things you wanna do at least once before you die. It should be something you do everyday around the most boring people in the most boring places, no?

7 things I can do

1) Be late! It's in my genes, I tell you.
2) Be lazy and indisciplined! There's always this little voice in my head that does a remarkable job of sweet-talking me into lazing off every time I feel like doing work. So again, no fault of mine.
3) Be lame! HAH! I admit it! And I'm proud of it! But of course, too much of a good thing is never good...
4) Recall jokes and riddles! I'm pretty sure now I have a prepared joke or riddle for 70% of situations.
5) Imitate friends, lecturers, family members, and animals. Some claim I can bark more like a dog than actual dogs.
6) Conjure games of all sorts, given time - I used to spend a lot of time doodling board games, card games, party games, and even computer games that would "someday" be marketed worldwide. Oh yeah, check that for "Things I plan to do before I die" as well.
7) Watch TV with no sound, no clue of what the story is about, and who's starring in it till 4am.

7 celebrity crushes

1) Blossom of the Powerpuff Girls. Wipe that smirk off your face, smart alec. At least it's not Bubbles.
2) Leela of Futurama. Oh, and I suppose you've a better chance of dating Britney Spears?
3) Farah, 2nd runner-up of Malaysian Idol 2.
4) Diana DeGarmo, runner-up of American Idol 3. Hah! I'm into Idol losers.
5) Nell Ng, who played Joo Lee in the aforementioned play. No lah, just main-main suka only.
6) You know, I was into this band called B*Witched a long, long time ago. You might remember them for hits like "Blame It On The Weatherman", "Rollercoaster", "C'est La Vie", and "Baby Hit Me One More Time". All right, so I was kidding about one of the songs.
7) Myself. Whaddaya mean I'm not a celebrity? You're reading my blog, aren't you?

Yeeps, there doesn't seem to be a single trace of normalcy in my list. All right, all right, you may have my place, Nicole Kidman. And that's just because I like Moulin Rouge!

7 often repeated words

1) Ah ee leh (actually derieved from the religiously-insensitive "Ya Allah").
2) Oh shoot (notice the absence of a comma).
3) Ting lei (borderline Cantonese swear word, meaning "block you" - don't ask).
4) For lack of a better word (used when I am...uh, for lack of a better word, at a loss for words).
5) Ok lah, erm... (try as I might, I simply CANNOT start a sentence without that - you might've even noticed it spreading to some of the dialogue my characters use).
6) Aijorrr... (variant of "Ah ee leh")
7) Please stop praising me (self-explainatory).

7 physical traits I see in the opposite sex

1) Alas, I don't look at the opposite sex - they look at me.
2) Hahahahahaha!
3) Oops, sorry. Ahem.
4) Now let's get serious.
5) Uhhh...does not wear overly flashy clothes? Cos you know who's gonna be paying for them eventually - now that's what you call long-term thinking.
6) Doesn't talk too fast. I'm intimidated by people who spew 5 second paragraphs at me, then demand an intelligent response from me.
7) Speaking of which, intelligence! But not more than that which I possess! Ooooh, feel the male chauvinist pigginess of it all! Oink oink oink! Okay, what I really mean is that she doesn't end up being a show-off obsessed with pointing out your mistakes - it happens to both guys and girls.

AND I'M DONE! WOO HOO! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I'M SO EXCITED THAT I'M USING THREE EXCLAMATION MARKS INSTEAD OF ONE!!!

All right, so I cheated on the last one. Sue me.

Hey wait...I'm supposed to pass it on to someone, am I not? Well, you know what they say: somtime, somewhere, someone's got to make a stand. And I'm putting an end to this madness - DO NOT CONTINUE THIS TAG! DO NOT! Cos if you pass it on to:

1-2 people: A 600-pound gorilla shall swallow you whole.
3-4 people: A 600-pound gorilla shall chew on you slowly, then swallow you whole.
5-6 people: A 600-pound gorilla shall snare you upside down for 3 days, chew on you slowly, then swallow you whole.
7-8 people: A 600-pound gorilla shall threaten you with obscene phone calls for 3 weeks, snare you upside down for 3 days, chew on you slowly, then swallow you whole.
9-10 people: A 600-pound gorilla shall threaten you with obscene phone calls for 3 weeks, snare you upside down for 3 days, chew on you slowly, swallow you whole, then spit you out and threaten you with obscene phone calls for the rest of your life.

And if you don't pass this tag on to anyone: Said gorilla shall run out of handphone credit, buy a snare two sizes too large, bite his tongue chewing you, and get indigestion from you.

Peace! ;^)