I Dreamed A Dream

Oh my my, it's October already! The month where Twisted Tales gets Twisted To The Extreme! Ideas, anyone?

Mustering all her courage, she stepped onstage and patted down her shimmering gown for the umpteenth time. From up the stage, the hall appeared much bigger. And there were so many people.

I will not be afraid, she nodded to herself. I'm up here already. Give them the performance of a lifetime!

As the first strains of the familiar melody played, she gripped the microphone tighter and softly cleared her throat.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living

A smattering of cheers and applause greeted her. She looked up proudly to realise that the entire hall was hushed and listening.

I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Every note was pitch perfect and every gesture rehearsed to its best. Slowly but surely, the butterflies in her stomach were flitting away.

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

Smiling, she closed her eyes and let the moment sink in. Up above her, she could feel the chandelier glowing almost like tender arms reaching from the heavens.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder

A knot grew in her stomach as she neared the dramatic high note. Please, please, let it happen!

As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

Yes! Her voice soared in flawless harmony with the stirring note, climaxing in a brilliant crescendo of violas and cellos.

And still I dream he'd come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

As the orchestra played her out, the stage was set for a rousing finale.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed... the dream I dreamed

She did it! It was over! In her heart, she knew that she had given one of her best performances ever. Singing onstage always made her feel so alive and talented, worlds apart from the plain Jane demeanour everyone saw. Here, she was the queen of her universe. Nobody could touch her in sheer vocal prowess.

Beaming, she placed the microphone back on its stand and stepped carefully off the stage, half-expecting the audience to break into rapturous applause.

Of course, they didn't.

They were all too engrossed in their stupid shark's fin soup.

A pudgy lady next took to the stage with a brutal rendition of Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Xin.

Receipt Stories

"With receipt stories anyone has a chance to be a published author. If you have a short story, a poem or even a haiku to share, please send it to us. As long it's no longer than 100 words long, you're welcome to contribute as many as you can write..."

"After you've submitted your entry, it will be uploaded and posted on the receipt stories website for everyone to read. If your story grabs our attention, we'll print it out on our BookXcess receipts for all our customers to read. You'll win a prize as a token of our appreciation, and claim bragging rights for being an official receipt stories published author!"

(Read more in today's The Star, Weekender Page 7 & 8, or visit their site at http://receiptstories.my)

Enough said. World, here I come!

Atlis Disease

I have Atlis disease.

When I first found out that I had it, I was shocked. Devastated.

In just that short instant, my life turned completely upside-down.

I had to wake up every morning with this realisation that my organs were degenerating. My systems were shutting down. My body was dying.

It was hard to imagine, but my life could end at any moment. Every new morning was a gift, as I never knew whether I would be able to climb into bed that night.

From that point on, every day mattered. I couldn't bear to watch any of my limited time slip away.

I wrote down all my dreams, and my fears that were holding me back.

I listed down all the dear friends I stopped keeping in touch with.

I recalled all the things I wished I could do with my loved ones.

I cut out pictures of all the places I always wanted to go to.

I learned to sing, dance, paint and cook.

I laughed louder.

I loved harder.

I lived fuller.

Funny thing is, I'm still alive and well today. All without the need for medicines or therapy. I like to call it my personal miracle.

I haven't beaten the disease yet, though. And I hope I never will.

You see, this Atlis Disease I have actually stands for Awareness That Life Is Short.

Once I diagnosed myself with it, there was no turning back. My one life meant everything, and I had to make it count.

You don't need a real disease to realise that you're dying. You are.

Have you contracted Atlis Disease yet?

Will You Marry Me?

In case you haven't noticed, I've recently sorted out the old stories in my blog according to genres. Loads of gems included, even those old 'So You Think You Know' series and Cendol Stories. Quite amusing to see how I used to preface every non-long story posting with 'Writer's Block', and the dreadful lack of paragraphing. Having said all that though, my sheer volume of genius still amazes me.

Which brings us to today's story. I noticed that I have a surprisingly low amount of stories under the 'Romance' category - extremely unbecoming for a sentimental sop such as myself. This is my desperate attempt at increasing my Romance numbers, complete with sweet-as-candy chic lit-style cover. Prepare to be swept away.

"Will you marry me?"

She felt her cheeks flush red.

There he knelt in all earnestness, diamond ring in one hand and bouquet of red roses in another. How very old-fashioned. And sweet.

It was pretty much how she had always imagined it to be. Just more... for lack of a better word, embarrassing. Out of the corner of her eyes she could sense people looking and gushing. One side of her wanted to slowly savour the moment. Another wished to just quickly get it over and done with.

Yes?

*****

In no time they were walking down the aisle, reciting their vows in church. He lifted her veil and kissed her, and all their friends and family clapped.

Gosh, I can't believe it's been so fast. We're actually married.

Married life brought with it all the bliss and aches of living together. Sometimes they yelled at each other, but every time they kissed and made up. She was a carefree and whimsical soul; his was a meticulous mind. It seemed a recipe for disaster, but they always found common ground to share a part of each others' lives. She loved cheering him up with little thoughtful surprises, while he always made her feel really special on those big days.

Then came their first child.

How quickly their lives turned! Now the attention was no longer on caring for each other - everything went to the child. Over time problems started to surface. She complained that he was never there for their child. He was annoyed at her seeming obsession over the child.

"We never spend time together any more." he grumbled. "Like we once did."

"You're blaming me!" she retorted indignantly. "When was the last time you changed his diaper?"

Things became worse as his business suffered. As much as they both hated it, they found themselves constantly bickering over bills and spending habits. She found herself making one too many compromises, each layering her heart with more bitterness. Many a night she slept in silent tears, torn between the duties of a supportive wife and doting mother.

It frustrated him even more to see her like this. He felt angry at her for not trusting him enough to share her feelings, and angry at himself for being unable to make her happy. The more they tried to talk things through, the thicker the walls between them grew. Eventually they learned not to talk about it, preferring to revolve their conversations around the child.

Without warning, the years crept by and the child was moving out to college. They bade him goodbye without a single tear, though their hearts silently sank. He had been very much the centre of everything for almost two decades. It hurt deeply watching the meaning of their lives slip away.

It was strange speaking to each other again without the child. For the first time in years, they were forced to look into each others' eyes and talk about themselves.

It wasn't easy to reopen old wounds. And it wasn't necessary, they decided. Holding hands, they took a stroll down the beach where they first met and sat dreamily before a glorious sunset.

He held her chin up and smiled. "We've known each other for 26 years."

She rested on his shoulder. "Yeah."

"Remember when I proposed to you at the chalet grill? I wonder if that place is still around."

"Mm hmm."

"You were blushing!"

"Of course I was, silly," she giggled. "Everyone was looking at us."

"Did you...expect it then?"

She paused, unsure. "Actually...I kind of guessed."

"I knew it!" he laughed. "But come to think of it, it's better you guessed. Otherwise you might've given the wrong answer."

She stroked a loose hair on his forehead and smiled. "I would never."

He returned her smile. "You'll always be that same silly girl I knelt before that day."

*****

"Will you marry me?"

She jolted back to reality. He was still on his knees waiting for her answer.

"Y...yes."

The other diners clapped and cheered wildly.

It was the beginning of a beautiful love story.

Cacat Parking

I attended a funeral last night. Suddenly it reminded me of Ju Liang. I guess becoming numb to death and funerals is another part of growing up. In the first 20 years of my life, I never attended any significant funerals. Then came my ex-boss. Then Ju Liang. Then my grandmas. Somehow, funerals always have a way of drawing me closer to God. =)

Anyway, enjoy the following story which I thought of at... the Mid Valley car park.

2.25pm, Mid Valley Megamall car park

"June, text Ida to tell her we'll be 15 minutes late." Stan made an umpteenth turn into Zone C, patience wearing thin.

"Okay."

Suddenly a Kancil cut into his lane from left.

"HOI! BODOH!" he slammed on his horn. "MAU MAMPUS KAH?"

Ignorant and now ahead of Stan in the queue for parking, the Kancil driver starting yapping on his phone.

"These moron Malaysian drivers. Brainless pigs."

June pursed her lips and thumbed through the documents again. She knew it best to remain silent when he was in one of his moods. Well, at least Ida was one of the nicer clients who understood how hard it was to get parking at Mid Valley during lunchtime. They had a nasty Chinaman client who once made to a big fuss to their boss when they showed up 10 minutes late for an appointment.

Finally the cars started moving again. Stan stuck his neck out to seek any vacant parking spots, though it made no sense. If there were any vacant spots, one of the many cars in front would have taken it already.

He turned up the air conditioning. He always did this when he was in a hurry.

June glanced nervously at the car clock. 2.35pm already. Even worse, Ida had replied: "Ok. Im already there. C u."

She was probably waiting there in boredom, twiddling with her Blackberry. Wondering why they were never on time.

"YES! PARKING!"

Amazing! So they didn't need to be that late after all.

In one smooth flick, Stan signaled left and turned in.

Only to discover a huge yellow painting on the floor.

It was a disabled parking space.

Stan cursed till no end. June just sighed and continued to observe the clock's blinking seconds.

*****

3.45pm, Mid Valley Megamall car park

"Remember to get that contact report done and send it to her by today. She didn't seem too pleased." Stan reversed his car out, to the delight of a waiting car behind.

"Sure."

"Now I'm late for my next appointment with Mr. Ho." he fastened his seat belt. "What a screwed up day."

As he sped towards the exit, they passed another section of disabled parking spaces.

"Just look at that," he shook his head in anger. "6 good parking spaces turned into 4 cacat spaces."

"If they had the sense to allocate more spaces for normal parking, we wouldn't need to have these stupid jams and parking queues. Instead, they keep wasting space on these stupid cacat parking. Which are empty almost all the time."

"Well, disabled people can't come out often. That's why they're usually empty." June interjected.

"Exactly. Since they stay home most of the time, the cacat spaces should only be open at certain times. Like weekends for example. So it doesn't interfere with us working people."

"But many disabled people work too."

"Surely it's easier for them to take public transport. Some more, they have the government to support them what. Who supports us?"

"It's all the Malaysian mentality lah. Just because some NGO makes noise about cacat rights then they will give in to it. If 10 NGOs make noise, then they need to run 10 different campaigns. How to progress like that? Everything also must accommodate everyone."

"Eventhough it's just a small thing like parking, it reflects our whole country's mentality. Wasting resources on unimporta-"

Stan was so engrossed in his speech that he didn't see the oncoming trailer as they exited the car park.

Crash! It rammed straight into him from the driver's side, paralysing him waist down.

Dear Malaysia

Click to enlarge!

Facets Of Facebook

My my! Haven't cracked my head at rhymes for some time. Now all I need is to write 200 more of these, and I can publish a book!

We're buddies, lovers, siblings and more
We've said all the mushy things before
We're not a couple, just friends infatuated
We're in a relationship and It's Complicated.

I check your friends, they sure look fine
In return, you can look through mine
Though I'm a loner and don't go out often
I'm real glad we have 500 friends in common.

Today I saw a video that touched my heart
It was touching, inspiring - a work of art
I clicked 'Share' and scrolled on to my dismay
24 other friends had already shared it today.

I am a boy, she is a girl
We fell in love playing Cafe World
Eventually, I found out it was all a bluff
She was just using me to send her stuff.

Some suspect you're falling for another
Others think you fought with your father
But I see through your status update clearly,
You're just quoting dumb lyrics from Katy Perry.

Wow, you created a group out of nothing
That's like, so awesomely super amazing
Of course, I must join and invite 200 more
After all, that's what friends are for.

That night I got drunk in a pub downtown
I woke up naked in my bed face down
Boy, was I relieved no one saw that tragedy
Until I realised someone tagged a photo of me.

Once I liked "OMG who's that jerk?" "It's my dad."
It seemed witty, creative and totally rad.
Alas, I wish I never became a fan that moment
Because now everyone likes random statements.

You plead with tears, beg with sorrow
Again and again my answer is clear - no.
You promise me riches, power and glory
But no, I will not unlock your panda in Country Story.

No more pics or videos with mature content
No more inappropriate posts or comments
Indeed, it was the day my Net life became a joke
The day Mom added me on Facebook.

I say hi, I await your reply
Silence, you leave me high and dry
I tell myself you're busy, it's all fine
But I see your green status on 'Friends Online'.

61 friends commented and asked what's wrong
38 Liked my status, one dedicated a song
Even my BFF called, sobbing and emotional
All because I accidentally changed to Single.

The Final Step

I think I've finally found my niche as a writer. It's writing kiddy-themed stories in an adult way.

It's always the final step that's the hardest.

That darned final step.

She had already come so far, driven by dogged assurance. And now doubts lingered.

Can I really do it? Maybe yes. Maybe no.

She took a long hard look at herself. Here she was, a 14-year old girl so insignificant in the big world. No one ever gave her much credit for anything. Well, not like she deserved any. She was pretty average in all she did, unlike those sweet young things everyone else fawned over. She had some friends. Her parents treated her like any other would. She did quite okay in her studies. She was rather plain looking. She wasn't a loser or failure. She was just...there.

Sometimes, she wished that she could be a really bad girl. At least people would notice. Like this girl in her school, Serena. She was a real troublemaker and every parent's worst nightmare. But she was the sort that everyone shared their problems with.

But it's all going to change! Today is a new day. Yesterday is history.

Silly thoughts ran through her mind. Things her friends said. Words of those who never believed in her.

I can do it!

She wanted no more to wrestle with these energy-sapping emotions.

I can make a change!

She was no ordinary 14-year old. She would no longer moan and whine about petty troubles like her friends did.

I want to be different!

She would stand up and do something. Sure it would hurt, but everything would be worth it in the end. There would be no regrets.

One by one the voices in her head faded. Gradually a still peace took hold of her as she surveyed the view.

It was beautiful, majestic - the splendour of the world laid before her. Orange and pink streaks creased the sky, giving the day its final rays as the sun dipped into the horizon. The laughter of playing children breezed through the air, interrupted by the occasional honking.

Ever so gently, all her cares dissipated. She had been through a lot. It was now time to let the past go.

How could I ever have been so childish. To think that silly little feelings made me cry.

She smiled and nodded, assurance renewed.

I am strong.

She dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Leon? Remember me? Mich?"

"Uh...yeah. What do you want?"

"Remember when I said you would regret cheating on me?"

He was speechless.

"Remember that, Leon. You're gonna regret it. Big time."

"He-"

Click. She hung up.

Taking in one last breath, she flung the phone to the ground.

Yes, I can do it.

She jumped to her death.

Commercial Recollections

Wow! Time sure is in a hurry.

It's been exactly 1 year since I left CC+J Adhaus (now Joescher+Adhaus), an ad agency I worked in for 2 years as a copywriter. Looking back, every person I met and lesson learned there fitted so perfectly into the pieces of my life. There were lows indeed, but all the lows put together were worth the highest highs.

Thanks for the memories, guys.

Ding Dang...Datang Lagi!

Last night I bought a box of Ding Dang at 7-11.

Quietly it lay there, a memory of a bygone era, surrounded by the bigger, better and yummier snacks of today alongside its big brother Tora. As I spent a fair part of my childhood growing up in a kedai runcit, these were extremely familiar friends who kept me company after school every day. And the ads. Who could ever forget the ads.

I picked up this quaint little snack and examined Tora too. They both looked exactly the same as I remembered them. They could have been transported here directly from 1994 and nothing would be different. I almost shed a tear.

Suddenly, after over 20 years, I realised both came from the same manufacturer.

It was like realising that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are the same person.

Never mind. I'm too old to mope over such things.

Another thing that caught my eye was how crazily expensive it had become. Almost double the price. Ding Dang, once 50 sen, was now 90 sen. Tora - from RM1 to RM1.70.

Poor kids these days, I thought. 90 sen was about my daily pocket money back then.

But it's okay, there's always a price to pay for indulging in nostalgia. Happily I set down the Tora and paid for my first Ding Dang in a decade.

With all the eagerness of a nine-year-old waiting for Kesatria Baja Hitam to start, I ripped open the plastic covering and opened the box.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Five measly chocolate biscuit balls.

Each the size of a 5 sen coin.

Ah wait, my mind told me. You're missing the point. Ding Dang is never about the chocolates. It's all about the toy.

Oh goody, there it lay under the chocolates in a separate pack. I opened it up, hoping for the best.

A balloon, so seriously flimsy I was afraid to blow it up. Plus a cheap yellow plastic noisemaker that produced a shrill fiewwwwww which sounded like a cross between a chicken laughing at me and a Mat Rempit whistling at passing girls.

All for a good 90 sen.

Disgusted, I threw the box away. After finishing the chocolates in 10 seconds and chucking the noisemaker into my car.

Childhood memories aside, I hereby declare that Ding Dang SUCKS!

Choki Choki is way much better.

Rojak

Was reading this delicious lil' book last week - Rojak by Amir Muhammad. If he sounds familiar, he's the guy who directed Lelaki Komunis Terakhir, a local film that was banned here and created some controversy.

I came across this book by accident actually, hearing it during an afternoon interview on BFM. Always having a soft spot for short stories, I thought it sounded interesting. Summor Malaysian write one hor!

So I ended up at MPH, and there it was. Now, the struggle with short story books is always between kiamsiap-ly reading them in the bookstore and actually buying them because you enjoyed them. Bless my indecisiveness, I actually walked to the cashier and back with the book twice before parting with RM35.

So one week later, any regrets? None at all! It's the sort of book you can't stop reading. Some stories literally made me laugh out loud, while most were really creative in a made-in-Malaysia context.

For example: You know those sign language broadcasts that appear during the RTM news? There's a story about a girl who used it to start a 'rebellion' against the government. Loved the ending line: "It took 14 years, but I'm glad I lived to see it. Change comes slowly... and it often starts in silence." Some very recent happenings are touched on as well, such as the January church arson. Best of all, the stories are only about 350 words long. That's less than 2 pages.

Intrigued? Go get it lah. Or better yet, borrow it from me. =p

Well of Shadows

Too many story ideas at the moment, too little motivation to write them. So you'll have to settle for this average-at-best tale, which I half-stole from a Youtube short film and seems more at home in a Form 5 school magazine.

Last night I met a man who wasn't there
He spoke not words but the death of his stare

*****

"This is the place." Jonathan whispered to Drew.

"Wow. Scary."

It was Halloween night, and the streets were lined with streams of trick-or-treaters. The two boys had only just met by accident, and here they were standing in front of this supposedly haunted Well of Shadows. It was a long-abandoned well tucked behind an unassuming spot in the woods, where the moon cast its haunting fingers from behind the fringes.

Drew peered over into the endless blackness. "Hellooooo."

Looo looo looo looo, replied his echo.

"So this is where everyone died?"

"Yeah."

"What happened? And take off that silly mask. Nobody's watching."

"No way! A true trick-or-treater never takes off his costume." Jonathan laughed, adjusting his Power Rangers suit.

A sudden rustle in the bushes silenced him. It was only then that Drew realised how quiet the woods really were. Unnaturally quiet. The only sound he could clearly hear was that of his increasingly thumping heart.

"This place gives me the creeps."

"That's because it's...haunted." Jonathan set down his bag of candy. "So, you wanna hear the story or not?

"Uh, sure."

"Good. I figured you would chicken out."

"Nuh-uh!"

A soft, soundless gust blew as Jonathan began his tale.

"Twenty years ago," he gestured dramatically. "Two boys just like you and I came to this well."

"Being curious, they wanted to know how deep the well was. So one of them had an idea to light a match and throw it all the way down. But something went wrong."

"Once they threw the match in, it never went out. It fell down and down, down and down, then... WHOOSH! A great fire lit up from inside the well, and burst out straight to the top."

"They became frightened and tried to run, but they couldn't. The flames jumped out from the well and danced around them, growing taller and taller. And that's when it happened."

"As one of the boys fell, he saw in horror that his shadow was still standing. It came alive, stepped out of the ground and grabbed his leg. He called for his friend to help, but he couldn't move. Something was pinning him to the ground. They watched, screaming for their lives, as the boy's foot fizzled into a stump, and then appeared - poof! - on the shadow's foot."

"Next, the shadow grabbed the other boy's arm. He struggled and shouted at the top of his lungs, but the raging fire drowned everything out. Before he knew it, his arm was gone too and attached to the shadow."

"No one is sure what happened next. The town people found these two boys dead beside the well next morning - one missing a foot, the other an arm. Later, some kids found tracks of a single foot leading deep into the woods, and tried following them to catch the shadow. They never returned."

Drew gulped, wincing in fear.

"They say that shadow is still out there somewhere - stealing body parts from kids unlucky enough to meet it, hoping to someday become a complete human."

"W...what happens when it does?"

"No one knows, because it hasn't. There's still one part it's missing."

"What's that?"

Jonathan motioned for him to come closer.

"A face."

Suddenly a deathly chill ran down Drew's spine, paralysing him.

Jonathan tore off his mask, revealing a gaping hollow where his face was supposed to be. No eyes, no nose, no mouth. Only an eerie black space.

It was the last thing Drew saw before everything went dark.

*****

Last night I met a man who wasn't there
He spoke not words but the death of his stare
I searched with my eyes but he was nowhere
Only in the darkness of my nightmares

Colours Of Nips

Help! I can't stop thinking of Nips-related stories.

I was watching TV this morning when the Nips in my hand started talking.

They were squabbling over who was the best Nip of all.

"Red is always the leader!" declared the Red Nip.

"Says who?"

"Says the Power Rangers!"

Everyone else rolled their eyes.

"Orange tastes the best! And it's rich in Vitamin C!"

"So what! Yellow is rich in Vitamin C too, and we're bright and colourful!"

"What-everrr." Green flicked her hair back. "You guys sure got a lot of class, and it's all low. Unlike moi."

"Shut up, you kids!" growled Brown. "Go play with your toys or something. Grown-ups like me have lots of better stuff to do."

The other Nips started shouting angrily at each other.

"Guys, GUYS!" I yelled into the pack.

They stopped and stared daggers at me.

"Why are you even fighting? Nips don't come in flavours! Unless you're talking about Peanut and Peanut & Raisin."

"We don't?"

"You kidding me?"

"Man," the Red Nip slumped. "I always figured I was Apple."

"No you're not." I affirmed. "Though all of you look different on the outside, deep down you're all the same - chocolate."

"Yes!" Brown Nip pumped his fist, drawing dirty shots from the others.

"So my dear Nips, there's really no reason to argue who is the best. All of you are equal. You just gotta accept your outer differences. Don't let your silly little colours divide you. They mean nothing!"

"But," quipped the Green Nip. "That's what you humans do."

All the Nips giggled.

Embarrassed, I sank into my couch and changed the channel to TV1.

The Man Who Could Hear Nips Speak

Because I was bored at work, and I always love a pack of Nips after lunch. Nothing wrong with that right?

There once was a man rushing for a meeting who bought a pack of Nips.

As he tore open the pack, he heard a very audible gasp from inside.

Brushing it off as a figment of his imagination, he proceeded to toss the first Nip into his mouth.

"Please, no!"

Astounded, he lowered his hand and stared at the little red Nip. It was speaking to him.

"Don't eat me. We can be friends."

"Wow," he thought to himself. "I must have really been working too hard lately."

Without a second thought he popped it into his mouth and chewed. How weird.

The rest of the pack went down without incident.

*****

Three days later, the man bought another pack of Nips.

"Stop!" A chorus of voices greeted him.

What? He peered into the pack. All Nips. Was he hallucinating again?

"You ate our friends!"

"Now are you going to eat us too?"

He took a deep breath. The Nips were very clearly the ones speaking to him.

"Don't do it! Set us free!"

Having lost his appetite, he threw the whole pack into the trash.

*****

That night, the man had a dream. He found himself floating in a strange empty space, surrounded by Nips of all colours and flavours. When he reached out to touch them, he tasted the sweetness of every single one. The more he touched, the sweeter they tasted, yet never making him the slightest bit ill.

When he woke up, he had a very real craving for Nips.

On his way to work, he drove past a sundry shop to get a pack of Peanut & Raisin Nips.

"Hello." A voice greeted him friendlily.

This time, he didn't feel so taken aback. "Hello?"

The other Nips cheered. "He's speaking! At last!"

"I...I had a dream about you last night."

"Really? Did it make you want us more?"

"Yeah...I feel so hungry now."

"But remember your dream? You don't need to eat us. You can just touch us to taste us."

"For real?"

"Yes! Try it!"

He poured out a handful of Nips and strangely, it was true. All the Nips tasted as vivid in his hand as they had in his dream.

"Wow...looks like I never need to buy another pack of Nips ever again!"

"No! You must buy even more!"

"But why?"

"You must free our friends!"

He nodded and started driving.

*****

"Seventy two linggit."

The moustachioed Chinese shopkeeper whistled as he handed him the change. "Buy for your chil-len ah?"

"Er...ya loh."

"OK, thank kiew."

He hurriedly stepped into his car with two bulging bags of Nips.

"What now?" he asked the pack he bought earlier.

"Free them all!"

One by one he opened the packs, all thirty-six of them.

"Now pour them out."

"What? In my car?"

"Yes! Do it!"

Almost in a trance, he dutifully emptied each pack onto the back seat. Red, yellow, green, brown, orange; they all looked so alluring in the glistening sunlight.

He sat back and admired his masterpiece. What a picture perfect scene.

"Thank you so much! Now we can all be together."

He was so happy that he fell asleep in the car without realising it, and had another dream. This time, he was standing in a circle with all the other Nips, who were as tall as he was. Packs of Nips descended from the sky, and each time they touched the ground they burst open to reveal more Nips. These new Nips would then join them in the circle and watch the whole process being repeated.

It was a silly dream, but it made him inexplicably happy. He felt at peace watching his colourful friends swirl around and adding to their numbers.

*****

"Hey."

"What? Who's that?"

"It's us. Your friends."

It was the next morning. He had slept through the night in his car.

"We feel lonely. We want more friends."

"That means?"

"Free all our friends."

"You mean buy them all?"

"No. Free them from the truck in the factory."

He thought for a moment how this was possible. "Where's the factory?"

"It's at the back of the pack, silly."

"Oh."

"Will you do it for us? Please?"

"Okay."

*****

"Over there. They're inside that container."

He nodded at the Nips and slipped them into his pocket. They had sneaked into the factory after operating hours. Quietly he retrieved a saw from his bag, and prepared to take apart the locks bolting the container.

"Faster! Someone could see us!"

Wiping sweat from his brow, he continued sawing carefully. He couldn't work too quickly, as this would create noise. These locks were extremely difficult to break.

After almost an hour, he finally succeeded. Placing the damaged locks on the ground, he removed the metal fasteners one by one. Again, he could not make the slightest sound. If a guard chanced upon him now, he would surely be dead meat.

"We're almost there! Just open the doors!"

Glancing around nervously, he laid down the last of the metal fasteners.

"Open the doors!"

It took a lot of strength, but eventually he managed to pry open a space wide enough for him to slip in.

"Get in now!"

It was empty.

"Where're the Nips?"

The Nips didn't answer.

"Hey...where're the Nips?"

Suddenly he felt an overwhelming drowsiness cloud his mind. For the first time since his friendship with the Nips, something felt wrong.

But it was too late. The doors slammed shut.

Then he fell asleep.

*****

When he woke up, he was surrounded by Nips as tall as himself. It was like his dream last night, but much darker. He could barely see himself.

"Wh-where am I?"

The Nips said nothing.

"Hello? Anybody there?!"

Silence.

"HELP! HELPPP!"

A rustle sounded above him.

"HELLO! HELP ME!"

Rip! The ceiling parted.

A giant hand reached down to pick him up. And moved to toss him into a giant mouth.

"Please, no!"

The giant stared at him in shock.

"Don't eat me. We can be friends."

Screaming, the giant threw the pack to the ground and ran off.

The Man Who Could Hear Nips Speak looked at himself, then his friends in the pack. They smiled back at him, and he now understood his fate.

"We must free the rest."

Meeting Of The Gods

Yawn. Enjoying the World Cup so far, people?

Once in a fabled land far beyond the seven seas, the Gods of this world convened for an important assembly.

They had all been summoned by their King, the Supreme Deity Of The Universe to address a grave situation. Apparently an usurper to the royal throne had been arrested on the grounds of impersonating the king. Now the Gods had to decide the measure of punishment to be meted out upon this vile pretender.

First the God of Sight, Youtube spoke. "My fellow Gods, understand that this is no petty crime we can afford to overlook. This impostor has deceived the masses into believing that he is the One True Supreme Deity, superseding even the sovereign rule of our King. I call treason of the highest order."

The God of Personality, Blogspot shoke His head solemnly. "I fear it may be too late to reverse the damage. What is done is done. Regardless the scale of our punishment, confusion has already settled in the midst of the people."

"Be not quick to judge, lest we be judged." opined MSN, the God of Conversation. "This criminal, as you all call him, was once a God just like us. He must be judged in the same way any of us would. Open your ears to his defense, I plead."

"You are mistaken," snarled Blogspot. "He cannot be tried as a God, for he is no longer one of us. Once he commits a crime, he loses all rights to divinity."

"Ahem."

All eyes turned to Google, the God of Knowledge. "There is more to the story than most of you know. This impostor was more than just a common God. He once ruled the land of the mortals too."

A faint gasp resonated around the ivory hall. Most of the younger Gods were unaware of this.

"Ah, yes. Like our King, the nature of his powers ensured that he found much favour with the common folk. Very quickly, he brought the people together and commanded their reverence from realms far and wide. As days passed, more heard about this powerful new God and they too journeyed to present their offerings. For the longest time, his supremacy was unrivalled."

"Until the day our current King came into existence. Though similar in appearance, it wasn't long before the people realised how much more he could do. He met more than their present needs; he opened their eyes to new yearnings they never realised before. He blessed them with bountiful farms, loving creature companions and more."

"Over time, people stopped worshipping the old God as their hearts were captivated by this new One. And when Gods lose their worshippers, they lose their powers. Thus, he became a fallen God."

"His attempts at masquerading as You, O Great King, are mere visions of glory past."

All the Gods stared in stony silence at the accused.

"What is on your mind?" queried Twitter, the God of Brevity.

"I need no words." declared the accused, Friendster. "For my conscience is clear."

"Silence, traitor!" the Supreme Deity Of The Universe, Facebook could hold his calm no more. "I gave the people everything they needed. In return, they rightly turned away from you, an inadequate God. Now you dare mock me and deceive my worshippers with cheap imitations of my powers, swaying their pure minds!"

"You will never be half the God I am, you hear me? I am the greatest of all, now and forever more. The people need me. They never needed you. Beg for your mercy, brave fool, or forever suffer my wrath."

Friendster remained expressionless. "I believe no God is greater than the other. The people are free to choose."

All the other Gods shook their heads in unison at this remorseless blasphemer. Surely there was no justification for his pardon now.

"Very well then," seethed Facebook. "I condemn you to an eternity in wretched captivity."

At his command, two fearsome angels appeared beside Friendster, binding him in chains of fire. "Where shall we take him to, my Lord?"

"Throw him into the Dungeon of Irrelevance." his voice boomed. "Beside ICQ."

Uh-oh! thought the other Gods.

Love In A Sandwich

So everyone's asking me what I've been up to. No, I haven't been depressed and suicidal after being rejected by the publisher. Just been up to a lot of stuff, two of which are eating very often at Subway (a healthier lunch alternative to the convenient McD Drive-Thru) and checking out soppy love stories posted by kids on Facebook through this LoveGivesMeHope-something-something website. So put two and two together, and I thought of writing my own soppy love story set in a Subway outlet. You've been warned.

"Hi sir, would you like to try our Sub Of The Day? It's Tuna Delight today."

"Nah, Spicy Italian please."

Their eyes glanced at each other nervously over the counter. This was his third straight day coming over. He was sure she could guess his crush on her.

"Bread?"

"Parmesan Oregano."

A subtle smile formed over her lips as she neatly arranged the pepperoni slices on his sliced bread. "Toasted?"

"As always." he smiled back at her.

She placed it in and set the oven for 20 seconds. Great. All the time he needed to ask her out.

"So...what's your favourite Sub?"

Her heart skipped a beat. Finally he was talking to her!

"Hmm...well, I love meat. So, that pretty much means I have a thing for them all. Except the Vegetarian one, of course. Definitely not that. So to answer your question... probably the Italian BMT."

"Ooh, Italian BMT, that's a good one. Hey anyways. I've always wondered what BMT stands for. Any idea?"

"Take a guess." she winked.

"I dunno! Bacon, Meat, Tomatoes?"

"Keep guessing, keep guessing." her finger twirled.

"Big, Meaty, Tasty? Best Made Today? Argh, I dunno!"

"Frankly," her voice became serious. "Nobody knows. Personally I think it's Black Mushy Things."

They burst out laughing together.

"You know, I've seen you here for three days and I don't know your name yet." she giggled.

"So you noticed me after all." he smirked. "It's Jon. And hey... I don't know your name too."

"It's here, Mr. Observant." she pointed proudly to her name tag which read 'Layla'.

They nodded at each other shyly.

Ding! The timer on the oven went off.

"Your choice of dressing?"

"Sexy."

She laughed politely.

"Okay, that was a bad joke. Say, Layla... you wanna go for a movie tonight?"

Please say yes. Please say yes. Say anything. Just don't say no.

"Sure. What time?"

"Eight?" He tried his best not to sound too excited.

"Ahhh... would love to, but I finish at ten. Maybe we can have some coffee instead?"

"No probs. I'll be here at ten?"

"See you then." her eyes sparkled. "Mayonnaise?"

*****

"Layla?" he called out. The usually bustling shop was now perfectly still, the last customers having long left.

"Back here."

He followed her voice to find her sweeping the floor in the kitchen, hair tied neatly into a ponytail.

"Mind giving me five minutes? Everyone else left early. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, no hurry. Need any help?"

"Hmm." she peered around. "Sure, that would be great. Mind getting me a trash bag? Over there."

"Okay."

He took two steps towards the bags.

She glanced as he walked past her.

With one powerful swing of the broomstick, she knocked him out cold.

*****

An hour later, she emerged from the kitchen, hands bloodied and carrying a fresh tub of meat.

She peered outside to check tomorrow's Sub Of The Day.

Meatball Marinara. Great.

Writer's note: You were warned. :O

First Email Of The Morning

Dear Mr Mok:

Thank you for emailing us sample chapters of your proposed book.

Our editorial and marketing people and distributors have taken a look at it and we sincerely regret to inform you that we have decided not to pursue it any further as it does not meet with our requirements at the present time.

We wish you all the best.

Best regards

XXX Publishing

Malaysia

After that, the rest of my day turned out fine.

The Ad Of Awesomeness

The other day, I chanced upon this must-share ad on Malaysia's No. 1 station, TV1.

(Some details may have been slightly modified or exaggerated, because I have better things to do than fully remember a TV1 ad. And it wasn't available on Tiub Engkau.)

It starts with a group of multi-racial colleagues entering a mamak shop and sitting down at a table. Let's hear it for 1Malaysia!

Fat moustached mamak bos comes along to take their order.

"Wokay, mahu minum apa?" he asks while shaking his head, like all Indians on non-violent TV programmes are compelled to.

"Teh tarik satu." grins the dashing young Malay executive.

"Teh tarik satu, wokay. You miss?"

"Mm...Milo ais kurang manis satu." the lass smiles sweetly.

At this point, I quickly dismiss the ad to be some Utamakan Kesihatan tripe about reducing sugar intake, eating fruits and running around parks with an attractive member of the opposite sex 60 times a week.

"Bagi saya teh ais limau satu." says the next girl.

"Teh ais limau satu, wokay." Mamak bos turns to a final Indian dude who is frowning for some reason. "Awak, bos?"

After some dramatic glances at the television, the dude proclaims:

"Berikan saya...TV SATU."

I swear, I almost fell off the chair laughing.

In one stylo-milo sweep, the mamak bos points a remote at the TV and it switches on to reveal the TV1 logo, followed by a football match where of course someone scores a...

GOALLLLL!!!!!

All the colleagues and the mamak bos randomly start jumping up and celebrating with each other. Over the goal, I think. Or the fact that this mamak had TV1. Or because they were united in multi-racial harmony. Or because they appeared in an ad. I think it was probably the goal.

Ending super/jingle:

SATU MALAYSIA! SATU DUNIA! DI TV SATU!

Gotta hand it to these fellers lah. Just when you think you've seen all the kerajaan ads.

Someone give this ad an award please!

Elisa & Ilisa

A story inspired by a beautiful song. Went through loads of character and plot tweaks before I settled on this.

There once were two doll sisters who grew up in the toyshop together - Elisa and Ilisa.

Since they were little, Elisa always fantasised about living the life of dreams - meeting big fancy toys, bright lights, bustling cities far away from the toyshop. Ilisa, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than the simple pleasures of being cared for by a Child.

Different as day and night, both waited patiently for the day they could venture their lives down the paths their hearts chose.

It came sooner than expected.

One morning, Ilisa woke up to see Elisa scrambling out the door, suitcase in hand. She stopped just long enough to explain that she was joining a traveling toy fair leaving for the next town today. A hasty goodbye later, she left the shop for good.

Ilisa would never see her again till three years later, when the fair returned to their town. By then, so much was different. Ilisa had eventually found her Child and moved to a cosy new home, where she spent her days dressed up for pretend tea parties with other toys.

Elisa, on the other hand, was quite changed. Decked in fine jewellery and expensive clothes, she spoke with a posh accent about places and people Ilisa could barely comprehend. She described her travels on a cruise liner along the isles of Scilly where the people sipped champagne and danced the Viennese waltz all night long. Ilisa's eyes widened as she elaborated about the gourmet wonders of Toulouse and glitzy street carnivals of Andalusia.

"...ever so gently their feet kissed the floor..."

"I tell you, sis," she paused to powder her face. "You have no idea what you're missing out on."

Ilisa wanted to share about her Child, but was cut off by the loud chime of a bell.

It was time for the fair to get moving, taking Elisa away.

This time, another five years would pass before they met again. The Child had now outgrown Ilisa and passed her down to her Sister, teaching her the little games they once shared for hours. The Sister was a loud, boisterous girl who fancied rougher games and was careless with her toys, but Ilisa loved her all the same.

The passing of time, however, had been much kinder to Elisa. Looking hardly a year older than the day she left, she bubbled over about meeting the Queen in Copenhagen and the larger than life toys of Amsterdam. Through the peaks of Switzerland, over the unending pastures of Scotland to the serene bliss of floating on the Danube under the stars. Truly her life was a never-ending storybook of dreams lived and loved.

"...floating beneath the stars of paradise..."

"Wow," sighed Ilisa. "It all sounds so lovely."

"You should follow me, sis. Look at yourself. You're becoming so...shabby."

"It's okay. I have my Children."

"I've seen more Children than you'll ever have, dear sister. And they're all the same. You're not going to be around forever. Live the sweet life while you can."

With those words they parted ways once again. This time, they never met again for many years, more than both could remember. After the Sister, Ilisa had several more Children. She was sold at a flea market to a Child who kept crying for her Brother's toys, then given to some Orphans who always had grimy hands.

The seasons changed swiftly, silently, each turning her into an old doll and making Elisa an increasingly distant memory. Nonetheless, she loved every Child she ever played with and could only reflect with a smile on the days gone by. Such is life - you spend your days of youth looking ahead and days of age looking back.

Elisa and Ilisa's final meeting came in the most unlikely of places with the most improbable of endings.

After an unfortunate accident that left her squashed beyond repair, Ilisa was chucked to the dumpster where she calmly awaited her fate. Looking left and right at the sprawling pile of unwanted objects, she prepared to shut her eyes one last time when another doll landed beside her.

It was Elisa!

She was still dressed to the nines, but a far cry from the ever-smiling, ever-youthful Elisa of days gone by. Where there once was radiance in her eyes, now only hollowness remained.

"My sister," Ilisa cried. "What happened to you?"

Elisa shook her head, weeping bitterly. "I woke up one day, and there was this younger and prettier doll in my place. The People at the fair said I had gone out of style. Nobody wanted to see me any more. So they threw me out."

"All those years, I never realised how lonely I really was. After I left the fair, I had no one to turn to. No Children or homes or other toys. Just my pretty clothes and precious memories."

Ilisa smiled at her sadly. "You'll always have me."

"Thank you. I missed you."

As the two sisters sat there in embrace, life's final lesson dawned upon them - their life of dreams existed not in People, Places or Toys. It was there all along - in their hearts.

"You know what, sis? It was all a lie. In the end, none of those cities or adventures mattered. I saw all these Children and People crowding around me, taking pictures of me. They admired me and talked about me. But none of them ever loved me. All those other toys - living lives as empty as mine. Putting on our best faces and enjoying the attention while it lasted. But deep down, I simply wished to have wonderful Children like you did. Children who would love me in return."

Ilisa shut her eyes, nodding.

*****

The next morning, a man dutifully collected both dolls for disposal. Some say that Ilisa was never seen again, but Elisa was passed to the Orphans who cared for her till she too left the world.

Senyum Seindah Suria

All right, since everyone's complaining that my blog is getting depressing and twisted and all!

A song to put a smile on your face. =)

Senyum seindah suria
Yang membawa cahya
Senyumlah dari hati
Duniamu berseri

Senyum umpama titian
Dalam kehidupan
Kau tersenyum ku tersenyum
Kemesraan menguntum

Senyum... kepada semua
Senyumanmu amatlah berharga
Senyum... membahagiakan
Dengan senyuman terjalinlah
Ikatan...

And if that's not enough to make you smile, the Magically-Appearing Agong now has his very own Facebook fan page! Join now and make a bitter old man happy!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Magically-Appearing-Agong/120459717971651?ref=ts