The Toll Gate Girl's Special Ability

It's fun writing stories about random people! This story was actually inspired by the multitude of toll gate guys and girls I pass by every morning to and fro work. Though our lives never cross paths for more than five seconds, I often imagine how it would be like sitting there day after day, collecting the same amount of money from countless strangers. Wouldn't they get restless? Or did they secretly enjoy it? Or perhaps they were waiting for something special to happen. So many maybes that only a story could ever answer...

But that's just me, I guess.

(My apologies for the delay in posting this story. Had originally planned to get this up real quick and proceed to 'A Halloween Love Story'. Unfortunately, things got really busy at work and I once again failed in my 23-year quest to celebrate Halloween, thus preventing me from getting the proper inspiration for the story.)


There once was a girl who worked at a toll gate.

This girl, Jenny, was ordinary in every single way possible. All her years of living, she had dreamed of discovering this Special Ability of hers. But she never did quite manage.

What is a Special Ability, you ask?

In her words, a Special Ability is that "one talent God gave you when no one else was looking". It is something that everyone wishes for, yet you alone have. And it matters not how unremarkable you are. Your Special Ability sleeps beneath layers of conformity and doubt, awaiting its discovery someday to make your life yours.

For some reason, Jenny was highly attuned to this fact and wanted anything but an ordinary life. Since the moment she could speak, she religiously sought out her Special Ability. It was her means of escaping mere existence.

First she figured it was reciting the alphabet backwards. But then three other boys in her class could do it.

She next tried riding a bicycle with only one hand. Her sister did it with none.

Finally at the age of 18, she thought she found it. She could imitate the sound of an elephant trumpeting perfectly.

Sadly, the joy lasted only a month. She attended a friend's birthday party, only to be horrified by this entertainer who could mimic an entire zoo.

Between it all, life somehow passed her by. Before she knew it, she was 23, Special Ability-less and working as a toll gate girl. Day after day, cars drove past her carrying people eager to go somewhere. Some drivers were headed to places created by and for their own Special Ability, while most rushed to serve the Special Abilities of others. However, what mattered was that Jenny did not know hers.

One day, she shared this idea of a Special Ability to her workmate. "You're right," he nodded vehemently. "Everyone has a Special Ability. But how do you know if you find it?"

"You just know. It'll amaze people, and yet make you feel good."

"Bah. Nothing amazes people these days. Everyone's seen everything."

"That's because everyone thinks like you. So people are no longer willing to find their Special Abilities. They just want to go through life with their Normal Abilities."

He cocked one eye up. "You're weird."

"No I'm not!" she retorted. "All right. What if I discover my Special Ability?"

"How? You're going to amaze the cars?"

"If that's what you say. I make five cars go wow, and that's my Special Ability. Deal?"

"Erm, hello? You have a job here, you know."

"Don't you fret that. I'll only need 5 days to find my Special Ability." Jenny declared, immediately regretting it.

"Whatever." He walked off to begin his shift.

Fuming, Jenny vowed to stick by her promise of 5 days. If she could not discover her Special Ability in 5 days, she would never mention it again as long as she worked here.

*****

And so Jenny began her quest. How would she do it? Simple - if she could make 5 cars go wow with her Special Ability in a day, that was it!

Day One started off pretty well. WCV 5609 was impressed by the way she deftly transformed his two-ringgit note into eight sen coins. So was BHC 4248 and WJK 8020.

But that was all.

Perhaps everyone was in a hurry. It was a Monday morning, after all.

On Day Two she decided to try reading people's minds. She correctly guessed where WAT 7835, MBH 5856 and WLY 1964 were going. Sadly, the other cars considered it a waste of time and berated her for causing a queue.

No luck either on Day Three. Her finger puppet show wasn't very well-received. Only PBA 1413 and AJV 7451 responded with half-hearted smiles.

By Day Four she was starting to run out of ideas. There wasn't terribly much you could do inside a toll booth anyway.

There was one thing she noticed - most people didn't look at her. They would be busy reaching for their pockets, fiddling with the radio or illegally talking on mobile phones.

That was it! She would make them listen instead. Surely no one could resist a singing toll gate girl!

"The toll is one ringgit twenty! One ringgit and tweeenty...ooh wo wo, one ringgit twenty! One ringgit and twenty..." She warbled along to the tune of My Heart Goes Sha La La La La.

"Ha ha ha! You just made my day." beamed WHD 6523.

"That's very original." WFS 3773 loved it too!

"You're amazing!" And so did TAC 2094!

"Brilliant!" mused JCM 5595. Only one more to go!

Just ten minutes to the end of her shift, WAX 2510 eased into her lane. Yes! He's going to adore it, I'm sure. I just know it.

"The toll is one ringgit twenty!" She burst into song, face agleam.

At the end of her ditty, the driver, a merry old man of 65, couldn't help but clap. "You remind me of my niece. She sings very well too."

Mission accomplished! Her heart leapt as his car tottered off. She had finally discovered her Special Ability!

Or had she?

Wait... something didn't seem quite right.

"You remind me of my niece."

Didn't that mean someone else could sing just like her?

Jenny buried her head in her arms and cried.

****

"So Jenny, how's your Special Ability coming along?" Her workmate made that oh-so-annoying 'inverted comma' sign with his fingers.

"Oh, shut up."

"Hey, I'm sorry. But you know what? I believe you're still talented in your own way. Maybe you're trying too hard."

"Maybe."

"How about a movie tonight? Anything to take your mind off this."

"We'll see. Thanks. Hey, gotta get to work now. WJP 7380 is coming."

"Huh? How did you know?"

"There, can't you see? That green Proton Wira."

"But it's so far off! How on earth can you see the number plate?"

"I can't, silly! I just remember the number plates."

"WHAT?! You remember the number plates of every single car?"

"Well...yeah."

His eyes widened in amazement as her mouth fell open in similar fashion. Could she have possibly, accidentally, miraculously, at a time when life seemed destined for mediocrity - found her God-given Special Ability?

She had.

Within three months, Jenny became an instant sensation as the Incredible Memory Lady.

Sometimes, dreams are like butterflies. The more you chase them, the more they flit away. But when you trust and stay still, they come to you someday you least expect them to.

VBS Memories... In Colour!

Why hey, it's that time of the year again!

The time when little kids get excited, youths reminisce about being kids, and adults try to act like kids! And no, we're not talking about my birthday here!

It can only be the annual VACATION BIBLE SCHOOL!

As I roll into my third year of being an 'official' helper of the Intermediate Class presentation, I've resolved to put on the best show ever seen. For selfish reasons, yes, but also because I believe that Ju Liang will be grabbing the best seat in the house and enjoying the show as well. Tee hee hee.

Thus, I have dug deep into and studied the famous moments of VBS Inter presentations past. And the results, my friends, are quite a sight to behold.

VBS 2001 - Wong Fei Hung
The year of Lian Juang! Indeed, this sketch is the shining moment of the Timothy VBS era. LJ plays a disbelieving Wong Fei Hung who attends VBS at the behest of his fiancée Sap Sam Yee. Not much of a story, but plenty of side-splitting antics to make this a performance that every older Canaan member will remember.





VBS 2006 - Tian Mi Mi
Another one for the ages! This was my first time helping out in a VBS presentation, and like all naivé directors I had my best intentions to do a full-fledged musical. Assisting me was the Inter veteran Ju Yuan and a very talented new church member called Teng Teng. The first few songs were pretty so-so, but this last scene was simply a KILLER.





VBS 2007 - Ya Pun Wa Wa
Fresh from the roaring success of Jasper's Tian Mi Mi, Clement had big shoes to step into. I remember his laidback attitude during practice that worried Ju Liang and I to no end. "Aiyah, don't worry lah... on the presentation day I'll remember my lines one." And boy, all's well sure did end well. Clement brought the house down, but it was this particular scene that sealed the deal.





And up next... VBS 2008! You better stay tuned.

Pastor Appreciation Drama

Consider yourself fortunate, peeps!

In view of recent calls for me to post more videos... I. Have. Uncovered. More.

The following sketch is one of those rare self-initiated church projects. I remember sparking it off from a mamak session with Ju Yuan and Ju Liang, where we imagined hilarious scenarios of holy-at-church pastors facing domestic troubles at home. You know - smoking kids, nagging wives and the like. At one point, there even was a song parody of 'We Are The Champions'. Eventually it grew into a cutesy drama we presented (without prior notice!) during the Thanksgiving segment of Watch Night 2005. Pardon the self-praise, but I still insist that this was one of the bravest things ever done on a Canaan stage. How dare a bunch of ignorant youths poke fun at the church culture of unappreciativeness!

Synopsis: Chi Yuan plays a pastor who is both unappreciated at church and tormented at home by a mother-in-law from hell. Hopeless and dejected, he eventually decides to leave for good - only for an unlikely intervention to teach him the true meaning of service. Additional synopses can be found in video descriptions.

Scene 1




Scene 2




Scene 3




Scene 4 & 5




Scene 6




One final note: At the time this drama was presented, Ju Liang had just been admitted to hospital. Zhi Yong was about to leave for Seremban. Jane had left for Belgium. And as for myself... well yes, I remember it was an emotionally difficult time for so many reasons.

Blah! It's all good now. =)

The Man In The Computer Shop

An exercise in creative writing, you could say. Last week, as I was leaving office, I dropped by the computer shop downstairs to buy a router that would supposedly fix all my connection woes. (It didn't, eventually.) Most of the shops were closing, but the poor bespectacled man in this shop was still clearing up stuff. He wasn't exactly drop-dead handsome, and rather unpleasant to speak to. In fact, I often made fun of him by impersonating this Ugly Computer Guy in front of my colleagues.
But hey, let's just say...


There once was a man who owned a computer shop.

Every single day of his life was filled with printers, modems, routers, hard disks, USBs and whacamalits.

And everyone who knew him, only did so because he was good at the techy stuff they didn't care for.

The hardware and software were the only ones who loved him in return.

But all that changed the moment he fell in love.

Love is never something you can predict or control. That's why it's called falling in love.

It happened one quiet morning as he was arranging the DVD-RWs in order of capacity.

"Excuse me, do you have thumb drives here?"

His heart paused. When you hear the voice, you just know. He whirled around to gaze into the most perfect face he'd ever seen.

A sparkling set of eyes met his demurely. Rosebud lips that spoke a thousand words with just a smile. Flowing black hair that one could run fingers through endlessly. All standing before him.

"Hello there?" Her dimples made her ever more adorable.

"I, uh- yeah. Thumb drives. What sort?"

"Hmm...I dunno. What kinds do they come in?"

"Well, you have you 1 gig, 2 gigs, 4 gigs, even 8 gigs now."

"I see," Her forehead creased. "What's a gig?"

He almost burst out laughing. Fortunately, the cumulative forces of the universe prevented him from doing so at that very moment in time.

"Do you know what a byte is?"

"Uh-uh."

"See, a byte is a unit of information stored in a computer. So all the data you have - that's all bytes. Ten thousand bytes would make up a megabyte, or MB in short. A thousand more of those, and you have a gigabyte, or GB, or gig as we call it."

She nodded very, very slowly.

"What sort of files would you want to store in the thumb drive?"

"I'm starting my own fashion boutique," she enthused. "And I need to get some photographs of the clothes taken, to upload on the web. But then the file size is too large, and I need to get it in this format, that format, this resolution, that resolution. Argh... it's so confusing!"

"So I reckon you want to transfer the picture files with a thumb drive?"

"Yeah."

"Then take this." He slid open the glass case, withdrawing a 8-gig thumb drive. "You'll need this for the hi-res pictures."

She eyed it curiously. "How much?"

"I can loan it to you first. Copy your files and bring them here to me tomorrow. I'll help you upload them."

"Oh thank you so much! You're wonderful."

So are you, he whispered in his heart.

"No problem. Just doing all I can to help."

"Tell you what," she smiled at him. "I'll treat you to lunch tomorrow. As a gesture of thanks."

This can't be happening to me. He felt giddy as a malfunctioning computer fan.

"Wow. You're not kidding."

"Sure I'm not! I really appreciate what you're doing for me."

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! The printer cables and CD-ROMs and external casings and speakers and optical mice grinned in unison at him. All those years he spent with them had ultimately culminated in this beautiful, wonderful moment. No more lonely nights. No more self-pity. He could finally become normal again.

Now he would have to change. He couldn't possibly keep talking about games and tech stuff. He had to read up on the latest movies and music and fashion trends. And speaking of fashion, it was high time too he overhauled his wardrobe. Perhaps a Clay Aiken cool geek-esque look would serve him well. Or how about that effiminate Korean rage? He knew a great many girls who dug that. But of course, none of those girls knew him.

First date. First movie. First coffee. First Valentine's. First kiss. How would these feel like? Would his inexperience show? She probably would have had several boyfriends before. What would she be like? Would she laugh at him? Would she find him boring? Serious? Intelligent? Girls liked intelligent guys, didn't they? But it had to be intelligent in an INTERESTING way, no? He was pretty interesting in some ways. He knew a lot of stuff that his friends didn't.

"I can take you to my boyfriend's cafe. It's not too far from here."

He froze.

My boyfriend's cafe.

Boyfriend's cafe.

Boyfriend.

"What say you?"

"I-I-I...."

"Yes?"

"I'm not free tomorrow."

She looked disappointed.

"And the thumb drive costs 60."

Why I'm Always Working Late

Heya all!

First time this year I'm posting twice a month. How sad.

But I'm pretty sure this is cheating, cos I'm just gonna share some Youtube videos!

Of myself and the guys at work doing silly stuff, nonetheless.

Enjoy!



CC+J Bowling!



CC+J The Musical!

Old School

Note: I recently received feedback that my blog is too colourless, pictureless and updateless. So how does one solve this problem? Easy peasy! By posting a colourful and pictureful update!

Here we go!

Because nothing says old school like these.

Last Thursday, I somehow dug out my old school magazines for a quick re-read.

WHAT A BLAST!

Back in my day, I had this embarrassing habit of constantly writing stories no one wanted to read and make them read. These days, I just write stories no one wants to read, and no one reads them.

So anyway, I contributed to the school magazine yearly without fail - except for Form 3 when hormones took over. Form 4 saw the collaboration with a certain Boy-Who-Was-Too-Smart to pen the ill-advised Dark Destiny trilogy. Title sounds cool huh? Trust me, that was the only thing cool about it. It was so awful that I couldn't bring myself to read it again in detail. Serious! I was just skimming through words and sentences, the way one quickly glances at and away from a dead cat by the roadside.

The story - remarkably schoolboy-ish (but then again...). About some super-computer trying to take over the world, only to be thwarted by a hero out of the blue. Then parts 2 & 3, with the hero's son continuing the battle. Or something like that. Sheer horror.

And just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, then came the Form 5 edition.

BWAHAHAHAHA.

I was in the Editorial Team that year, the way all gifted students should. And the Sub-Editor, no less.

2-pages-plus for a BM story. (Since when could I write in Malay?!)
4 pages for The Boy Who Was Too Smart.
3 pages for A Tale Of Two 'Poultries'.
4 more pages for Insanity.
1 paragraph for an excerpt in my classmate's article 'Life'.

All perpetrated by YOURS TRULY!

*hides head in shame*

I must have had a really difficult childhood.

No, seriously. Any Form 5 kid who submits 13-over pages to the school magazine without remorse should be sent for psychiatric counselling and spanked for good measure.

I even remember fantasising at that time of teachers crowding around the magazine in the Bilik Guru going: "Oooooh, look at him! Sooooo clever! Write sooooo much!"

Just like how I once imagined that my blog would get featured in the papers, simply because it contained stories.

And of course, none ever happened.

I guess one of the most important lessons of growing up is to take yourself less seriously.

So... WULIGAGA ANGKUKU~!

P.S. All the writings highlighted in orange can be found in the 'Desserts, Anyone?' section of my blog. Along with Bobo, these constitute some of my proudest life's work. Maybe I just haven't lived enough yet. =p

Ju Liang

In December 2005, I wrote about my friend Ju Liang who was diagnosed with leukemia.

This past Wednesday 11.18am, he succumbed to a relapse after battling the disease for almost 3 years.

So much has been thought, said and written. But I'm just going to post a speech I shared during Ju Liang's funeral service. Originally an email I sent out to a few close friends on the day of the death, this was something written completely from the heart and without planning.

I remember praying for Ju Liang 2 1/2 years ago when we first found out that he had leukemia. At that time leukemia sounded like something that happened only to people in movies. Not to someone like Ju Liang - the middle child of the Wong family I loved so much. The one who so wonderfully complemented his elder brother Ju Yuan's charisma and younger brother Ju Ping's athletic ability, with his intelligence, musical talent and creativity.

After a couple of years of chemo, he seemed back to normal. We even served together during last year's VBS (Vacation Bible School) in the music team and helping the Intermediate class with their presentation. It was one of the happiest times in my life, as we practiced together with Clement and Clifford at night in this very living room.

We started praying for wisdom on Ju Liang's part, as he decided what he wanted to further his studies in - Acturial Science or Business. Then when he had a relapse, we prayed for a donor. And God graciously granted him the donor from Taiwan.

One day after YTU (Youth Training Union), I called him and assured him that we would serve together during VBS this year. I even shared with him some crazy ideas I had for the Intermediate Class presentation. He told me it wasn't likely that he would be back in time, but I made him say that he would. And Ju Liang being Ju Liang, he joked about how lousy the hospital steroids were, making him weaker instead of becoming a buffed bodybuilder. He even asked me whether I had anything he could pray for.

After I put down the phone, it crossed my mind "What if this is the last time i speak to him?". But of course, I quickly brushed the thought aside. Ju Liang WILL get better, I believed. In time for VBS.

It really was the last time I spoke to him.

Up till Tuesday night, when I heard that his heartbeat was getting stronger and cancer cells reducing, I believed with all my heart that Ju Liang would have a second chance at life. I imagined him giving talks and publishing books "How God Healed My Leukemia". The doctor even said it was a minor miracle. And that was what we had been praying for.

And yesterday afternoon, as we drove home from Port Dickson after the No Apologies camp, someone broke the news to me. Ju Liang was gone.

I guess I felt cheated.

When I reached church, Pastor Siew Teng asked me to take care of Ju Ping. He still appeared fine, on the verge of crying. We prayed together with a few others, in the midst of the luggage bags. And he started crying again.

I didn't know what to do.

It still hasn't fully sunk it yet. It still feels like a weird dream, something I'm going to wake up from. I still expect to suddenly see him come online or show up in church with his glasses and white suit and black hat.

Pastor Siew Teng told me that Ju Liang wanted to share his testimony to others, if God willed him to live. So I pray that all of us here carry this task on and use his life story as a blessing to others. In his 21 years of life, Ju Liang experienced God in more ways than many people do in an entire lifetime. Surely that is a story worth sharing.

And I pray too, that his family - Uncle Ronald, Auntie Annie, Ju Yuan and Ju Ping - continues to live with the joy and hope of someday reuniting with him. For surely, Ju Liang is finally free from suffering, sorrow and tears. He is in eternal fellowship with God, rejoicing with the angels of heaven.

I don't know what to say anymore. I've never experienced the death of such a close friend before.

I just imagine that he's waiting for us now. It'll just be some years, as we pass through our temporary home on earth. And after that, we'll be spending an eternity with him in the future. There'll be so many stories to share then, of the passion and purpose we lived our lives with.

Till that day comes, I'll always remember this dear brother God has blessed me with and whom I had the privilege of knowing. I'll always remember Ju Liang.

******

It seemed such terrible timing at first. There we were, all fresh from the high that was No Apologies camp, and Ju Liang's death brought us crashing back to grievance.

But guess what? One of Ju Liang's last words before he entered coma was "God never makes mistakes, Ma."

And looking back, Ju Liang's death was no mistake or coincidence. In fact, there could have been no better time. It has provided a powerful impetus for a generation of youths in my church to be passionate about their lives and change the world for God, myself included. As I saw them comforting and praying for one another, I knew God had His plans and something special was about to happen.

These are exciting times, indeed. And do watch well, Ju Liang - we'll catch up again someday. =)

Top 5 Advertising Phrases!

As the sole author of the world-famous Twisted Tales, I often get questions of what is it I actually do for a living. You know, besides living off royalties and making TV appearances.

And the answer, ladies and gentlemen, is...

Advertising.

Ah yes. Over the last two years, I have secretly toiled in the dark depths of advertising, amassing along the way a noteworthy share of tears and spit. Big-shot corporates, small Chinamen, late nights, coffee, ugly ads and pretty designs - I may not have seen it all, but I've seen enough. Thus today, I stand before you as a self-proclaimed qualified writer on the topic of advertising.

And today... the Top 5 Advertising Phrases!

Or in simpler terms, The Top 5 Phrases Advertisers Use To Pull The Wool Over Consumers' Eyes. And yes, I may or may not have been guilty of using them at some point or another.

No. 5: Natural
The Guilty: Skincare products, health food

Mention natural, and images of sprouting leaves and gushing rivers spring to mind. Be it fancy moisturisers or new-age diets, every brand has a place for this spectacular new word: natural.

"But wait," you ask. "Surely there's some law against misusing the word natural."

Ah ah ah. Very sharp, you. Unfortunately, that applies only for organic. True, if someone claims something is organic, it must come from the ground; worms, dirt and all. Or a chicken's backside.

Natural, however, is a different animal altogether.

The problem with the word natural is that it doesn't just mean 'from nature'. It can also mean 'it just happened'. As in the phrase "They were naturally attracted to each other.". I present my case in the following sentence:

"Naturally formulated from rose petals, Hihihaha Lotion gently soothes your skin."

You see? The product could be naturally formulated from bird droppings, waste water or liquid nitrogen. That doesn't mean it's natural. It just means that the product so happened to come from some stuff somewhere.

But it doesn't matter. You still would perceive it to be...

Natural.

No. 4: Traditionally prepared
The Guilty: Herbal products

Why of course, nothing beats the good ol' days. When Ah Chong's dad used to plunge his hands into a muddy river, dig up some roots and wade home, wiping snot from his nose.

"Traditionally prepared from age-old methods, Nonomomo Essence is a trusted remedy for coughs and colds."

Oh so romantic! Throw in a hand-drawn painting of straw-hatted villagers beaming under the sun, and who wouldn't be enthralled by the sentimental timeless charm.

But well...

For all you know, traditionally prepared could mean a huddle of underpaid Bangladeshi workers slogging in a dingy factory on the outskirts of Nonomomoland. Faced with the daily struggle of malfunctioning machines, they resort to every possible mean to meet their daily quota of '500 bottles per person, filled to the brim".

And I mean every possible mean.

No. 3: One-stop solution
The Guilty: Service providers

What qualifies as a one-stop solution? Hmm, let's see.

If you sell Product A and Product B, yes.
If you sell Product A and some form of extension, yes.
If you sell Product A and accept cash or credit payment, yes.
If you sell Product A but cater for children and adults, yes.
For men and women, yes.
For professionals and non-professionals, yes.
For good times and bad times, yes.
If you sell Product A and also pack it for them, yes.
If you sell Product A at different prices, yes.
If you sell Product A in different colours, yes.
If you sell Product A in different languages, yes.
If you sell Product A wearing different costumes, yes.

But WAIT! What if you sell ONLY Product A, ONLY accept cash, ONLY cater for professional adult males going through good times, DO NOT pack it for them, ONLY at one price, ONLY in one colour, ONLY in one language and ONLY wearing a necktie?

Simple. Just erect a big roof and call it Under One Roof.

No. 2: Innovative
The Guilty: Technology companies, new brands

Let's say you have a new product, service or brand to launch. There you are, faced with the thrashing sea of competitors waiting to eat you up. What do you tell people about your stuff?

Hah! Of course! It's...it's...

INNOVATIVE~!

When you're innovative, you can do nothing wrong. Lousy results? Duh. It's innovative. You're not accustomed to it yet.

Awful packaging? Hello, it's innovative lah. Too high-tech for you.

Too expensive? Well, whaddaya expect. It's - all together now - ...

INNOVATIVE.

Being innovative is like being the six-year-old brat in the family. No matter what he does, isn't he aw-shoo-cuuuute.

No. 1: Dynamic
The Guilty: Big companies, smart alecks

And lastly, we come to the biggie -

DYNAMIC.

Open your eyes and it shall reveal itself to you:

"Zazawawa Inc is a dynamic company."
"The design concept reflects a spirit of dynamism."
"Our product features dynamic usability."
"That was a very dynamic presentation"

Never in history has a word been used by so many with absolutely no clue on its meaning. And I don't blame them. For deep down, no one truly knows what dynamic means.

It's the ultimate say-it-without-saying-anything word. I remember Friend A who once asked Friend B about the movie director Quentin Tarantino. Without batting an eyelid, Friend B replied, "Oh, he's a very dynamic individual."

Friend B had no clue who Quentin Tarantino was.

And now, my friends, the power belongs to you too!

"How was the meal?"
"How was the movie?"
"How was your day?"
"How are you feeling?"
"How's life?"

A-one, a-two, a-one-two-three...

DYNAMIC~!

Last Dance

"Your left arm wasn't straight enough."

The words resonated in his ears as he packed his shoes, opened the gate, limped out and shut it. He gingerly shifted his left knee. It still hurt when he put weight on it.

Melodic strains of a piano wafted from the house next door. It was already past sunset. The sun's dying rays led him past a playground of several chattering children.

He noticed a boy and girl, siblings, from his class. They swung high and free, without a care in the world. He smiled, slowly making his way towards them.

The girl, a charming little thing, came running at him, tugging at him to join them on the swings.

Struggling to smile, he obliged. They talked. About her friends at school. About his colleagues at work.

She proudly told him about how much she had improved. "But I don't like my new shoes! They make my feet all tangled up."

He laughed and showed her the freshly-ripped sole of his left shoe, drawing childish giggles from her in return.

"Mei, ah mee lai liao!"

Sis, mum is here already. Her elder brother's call brought her to her feet.

"I have to go now."

"Okay." He paused. "Listen... I'll never see you again."

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Just go."

"Bye bye!"

And they disappeared into the car.

Shuffling his feet uncertainly, he took one final gaze at the house that he had so loved and hated for four years. The gentle piano continued to play. Swathed in relief, sadness, sentimentality and eagerness all at once, his heart was clearly too overwhelmed to lead him for now. Only one thing remained certain - it was time to go home.

After making sure no one was looking, he waltzed one last time under the flickering moonlight. One, two and three.

How To Win Parking And Influence Guards

A few weeks ago, my colleague alerted me of an apartment that had just opened downstairs of my office. It was spanking new, it was still resident-less, and most of all...

It had parking lots!

PARKING LOTS!!

Now, you would be forgiven for wondering why I'm making such a big fuss over simple parking lots. After all, everyone has one at home, right.

HAH! Try paying RM6 daily for parking (or RM50, for the really expensive lots owned by DBKL with attractive yellow line designs) and you'll emphatise.

The first few days of parking in this new-found haven was sheer bliss - too good to be true. When I first laid eyes on the sprawling parking lots - absolutely empty - I couldn't believe my eyes. Miles and miles of neat yellow boxes just nice to fit my car. I could park sideways, diagonally, upside-down, any way I wanted.

Unfortunately, all good things, as they hatefully say, must come to an end.

Barely a week after Parking Heaven opened its gates, a horrid parking machine sprouted at the entrance. It couldn't function properly yet, so an equally nasty guard was stationed beside it.

The guard's job was simple - grunt at any car trying to enter, and shove the driver a sheet to fill out his name, time of entry, vehicle registration number, block number, signature etc. Should he find the particulars satisfactory, in the car could go.

Things worked well initially, as the Nepalese guards were unable to communicate properly in Malay or English (OR Chinese, if you must). Hastily scribbled details sufficed. However, I deduced, eventually the guards would grow familiar with my face and realise that I wasn't a resident. And heaven forbid that I would pay RM6 daily like everyone else.

So came the masterplan of brilliance.

Once upon a time, this humble soul read in the aforementioned How To Win Friends And Influence People that the surest way to win a person over is through calling him or her by name. It reaffirms their importance and conveys care.

So such would be the idea:

a) Smile and greet the guard on duty every day, as I enter and exit.
b) Look at his name tag.
c) Memorise their names.
d) Eventually, call all the guards by name, creating the impression that I was a familiar-face-cum-resident.

MUAHAHAHA!

A splendid plan it was. Except for the fact that almost none of the guards wore name tags, making me having to resort to asking them verbally.

Now here's the heart-warming part of the story. Though I was asking their names for a supposedly ulterior motive, I started noticing how happily surprised they always were. They would be standing there as stereotypical grim guards up till I asked, "What's your name?". It never failed to tickle me, seeing them grin like schoolboys after school, answering in broken English.

Even on the countless occasions I forgot their names or - horrors! - called them the wrong name, still they smiled and corrected me. One even told me, "No, no...that one brother." Goodness. Guard Brothers?

Another one spotted me out of the parking lot today. He came over and asked me my name. A dark Nepalese lad, perhaps no older than myself. His name was Asoh. I accidentally called him Siva, of course.

It's nice calling guards, cleaners, gardeners and other members of society's wallpaper by name. It reminds them that someone still cares. It teaches us that they're just as human as we are.

Have you greeted a guard today? It could win you some free parking. Not to mention a friend. =)

Ghostopia (Chapter 3)

Another month passes without ABSOLUTELY NOTHING happening in the world of Twisted Tales! A lot has happened in the real world, though - namely, the 12th Malaysian General Election. And boy, am I proud to have contributed to this unforgettable chapter in national history. And though wrongly skeptical, my poem 'There's Something In The Air' shall always be one that perfectly captured the emotions of the moment.
Ghostopia (Chapter 3)

"Anytime now," Mortie whispered to Darren. "You're a patient one."

They were in a dingy bar with neon lights screaming THE HAUNT. Several rows of tables with lifeless onlookers bordered a stage, where a solitary girl strummed and sang along to Nirvana's Come As You Are, face half-hidden in the dim lights.

"Here in Ghostopia, we only have music from dead artistes." Mortie winked at him. "Your John Denvers, Freddie Mercurys, Selenas, Aaliyahs and Pavarottis."

Darren nodded, genuinely interested. "Tell me again. When do we meet this group of yours?"

"This should be her last song," he gestured onstage. "Then we can start. Lester should be here already."
So she's one of the members too, Darren thought to himself. Will the surprises never end.

"And in case you're wondering," Mortie added. "We call ourselves Ezisa. It's Greek for life."

*****

"Fellow believers of life," Mortie sat them down around a table in a smoke-stenched room backstage. "May I introduce to you Mr. Darren."

Silence. Except for perhaps an inaudible sneer by the girl.

"Mr. Darren is the Luckbearer that I've been talking about. Mr. Darren, this is Mr. Lester, our Strongman."

Darren nodded at a long-haired brute opposite him. Like what Mortie said, he sure looked slow of mind.

"And this is Ms. Kat, our Swiftling."

"Don't call me that. I hate it." she snapped back. She was a girl of medium build, no older than twenty, with a noticeable penchant for gothic-inspired fashion.

"So long as you are in the Ezisa, you shall abide by my rules." Mortie reiliterated in a stern tone.

She kept silent, visibly displeased.

"Now that we're all finally here, it is time for the Great Ghostopia Escape to begin." Mortie handed everyone a sheet. "Pass this round."

It was a detailed blueprint sketch of a tower of some sorts.

"In 14 days, the Tower of Souls opens. The most massive construction project ever undertaken by the Ghostopian authorities. A central meeting point for soul collection, enforcement, administration and research."

"Inside the Tower lies a top-secret Exorcism Chamber - and therein is our key to escape. For he who steps into the Chamber shall gain powers of walking backwards through the gates of Ghostopia."

"Now," Mortie unfurled the blueprint across the table. "As this will be only time the Tower is accessible to public, security shall be at an all-time high. There is no way we can waltz in and out alive."

"But on the other hand, security shall be at an all-time low too, if you know what I mean. The sheer size of the crowds and traffic - an unimaginable logistics nightmare for the big boys."

"How do we magnify this advantage?" Mortie smiled. "We create more chaos and disorder. We blow up the place."

There's Something In The Air

There's Something in the air
Everyone's well aware
The fireworks, the sparks, the fanfare
And suddenly we all care

A special Something that makes us believe
That we alone elect how we live
A certain Something that wasn't there before
Not I believe, since two-thousand-and-four

This little Something,
It sustains us, entertains us,
Gives hope to the common man
That he most certainly undoubtedly can

The Something that burns in all
A will to build bridges and break down walls
To see through immeasurable pains
To stand up, speak up, and fight against

The coffee shops are a-mumbling
The streets are a-rumbling
The people are a-grumbling
The mighty are a-trembling

Will justice ever be propagated?
Equality reinstated?
Freedom legislated?
Corruption eradicated?
Wise leaders nominated?
Difference created?

Someday, maybe thus changes Her fate
Just not, I believe, after March 8th two-thousand-and-eight
But it's always nice to hold on to that special Something
It keeps us alive and kicking

Happy Voting, Malaysia!

Ghostopia (Chapter 2)

Happy Valentine's Day, Chinese New Year and Federal Territory Day, all rolled in one!
It's been a difficult few weeks, with Ju Liang's leukemia relapse and Uncle Phua's passing. Didn't have time to blog about those two items.
Been Internet-less for the past week in office, as the tenants moving out took the router with them. Posting from Starbucks. Sigh. How elegantly chic. And yet hopelessly sad.

Aside note: You know how it once was uncool to be single for Valentine's Day? Then for some time we had year after year of 'Celebration of Singles' day, and suddenly it became the in thing to be date-less for V-Day. You know, stuff like "Who needs to be in a relationship to be happy?", "At least we don't need to pay a bomb for roses that're gonna die.", "Hey okay... GIRLS NITE OUT! I will survive...I WILL SURVIVE...!"

Hm. I could be wrong. But I have a teeny feeling that those statements, once so anti-mainstream, have ironically become clichéd themselves. At the risk of ruffling more feathers than I can chew, it's only cool if you're single BUT deliciously boyfriend/girlfriend material. The rest? Just stay neutral, people. Don't pretend it's fashionable and go all anti-relationship.

So what's cool, you ask me? As V-Day has the tendency of becoming the most unromantic day of the year to go for a date, take that special or let's-pretend-to-be-special someone for a Ramli Burger! No crowds, no bleeding wallets, no strings attached! Remember to bring your own drinks.

Ghostopia (Chapter 2)

Darren stared back sharply at Mortie. Unsmiling. Unamazed. But most definitely not uninterested.

"We were waiting just for a final candidate as yourself."

"I'll show you the rest later. We have Kat, the fastest pair of hands you've ever seen. Lester, slow of mind but unimaginably strong. And myself, the brains of the team."

He paused to check if Darren was still listening.

"You must be wondering what talent you possess to warrant a place. You were a gambler in your past life, no?"

"And a pretty spectacular one, I reckon. Nothing of sleight of hand, anticipation, foresight and that mumbo-jumbo. Only unadulterated blind luck."

"That's why I need you, Darren." Mortie smiled. "I can't leave anything to chance. What say you?"

"You're insane."

"Perhaps, a little. But that is beside the point, really. Now are you in, or not?"

He gazed at the ceiling. "This is a joke."

"Again, perhaps. But are you willing to take that chance for Emily?"

Silence.

"You've been taking chances all your life."

"Don't you bring Emily into this."

"Why should I? You'll do that for yourself."

Mortie sat beside him. "Son. Do you know what hurts most about dying?"

"Not the things you never got to do for your loved ones. That's regret. We all carry regret, even when we were alive. What hurts most is what your loved ones never got to do for you. When someone dies, you lose just that someone. But when you die, you lose everyone."

"She was your fiancée. You may not care about losing her. But maybe she cares deeply about los-"

Darren grabbed Mortie's throat, unflinching. "Enough,"

Mortie flailed about, trying to free himself. "All right. All right."

He shifted uncomfortably, casting long shadows across the flitting evening rays. Somewhere from the next room, a queer fragrance wafted towards where they were.

"Newcomers!" Mortie darted up.

He muttered something inaudible as he hurried to the other end.

"Wait."

Mortie whirled around abruptly, almost smirking. He knew he would change his mind.

"Take me to meet the rest."

"Sure."

"Now."

"Soon as I'm done with these newcomers." He continued with a merry spring in his step, whistling Leaving On A Jet Plane.

Ghostopia (Chapter 1)

The re-writening is finally upon us, folks! After nearly 3 years since the world first saw Ghostopia Chapter 1, here we go again. Of course, it's worth noting that I haven't done any story-writing for 6 months. So, what has changed? I've been doing a fair bit of dusting off my old material, and one thing becomes evident: I need to stop making my stories well-written, well-structured or any self-gratifying nonsense, and first of all ENTERTAINING. A couple of years in advertising have been rather helpful in this aspect, I venture. If you've read the first Ghostopia, enjoy the fun of spotting characters and plots I've killed. And if you haven't, just enjoy it anyway.

It's taken three years, but it'll be worth the wait. I promise. =)

Ghostopia: Chapter 1

"Welcome to the afterlife."

"What?"

"In case you haven't realised yet, you're dead, my friend."

Darren clutched his side. It hurt. Where was he, and who was this strange man?

The man stared silently at Darren for almost a minute. Finally he spoke.

"I'm Mortie."

"Mortie," Darren nodded unsurely. "Who are you, and where am I?"

"You died this morning in a car accident," Mortie clasped, then unclasped his hands. "And you are now at the borders of the afterworld - or Ghostopia as we call it - where I am the gatekeeper."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"Afraid not," Mortie sniffed. "5.44am on the State Express Highway, 6th mile. Headlong crash with a stalled lorry. Died on the 13th minute to the hospital."

"No. No."

Mortie gazed at him grimly. "I'm sorry. Sometimes these things just happen."

"No. That was...a dream."

Mortie shook his head. Darren started shaking uncontrollably.

He put a hand on Darren's shoulder. "Get up."

"N-no," Darren whimpered. "I-it was a dream."

Mortie, still stone-faced, strode to his desk and picked up an eight-by-eight-inch box.

"What's done is done. Take this and live well in your new home." He offered the box to Darren.

Darren pushed his hand away.

"Maybe I should come back later." Mortie sighed and started walking away.

*****

"Feeling better now?"

Darren had been lying there motionless for days. Weeks, maybe. One thing about being dead is you never feel hungry, tired, bored and all those trivial things that living people feel for no reason.

"Listen here, Darren," Mortie retrieved the box and passed it to him again. "You may think yourself unfortunate for dying so young. And perhaps you are right."

"But suppose you were today given an opportunity to become the luckiest man alive. Or rather, make that luckiest man not alive."

Darren glared at him with a look that spoke Not Funny.

"In 14 days, the Great Ghostopia Escape shall commence. And I am extending you the offer of a lifetime to join me."

Darren turned away, uninterested.

"You should be paying more attention, really. Let me tell you where we're escaping to."

He leaned closer forward.

"The world of the living."

Life Lessons From... Futsal

Don't interpret too deeply. I just Googled 'soccer'.

All right, so the idea for this post came from Chern Lye's 'Life Lessons I Learnt Playing Counter-Strike Source', which in turn was inspired by a popular online article '7 Life Lessons I Learnt Playing Halo'.

And since I dare not boast of any extensive gaming experience on the World Wide Web, let us instead talk about something more down-to-earth, more humanly, more, more...

PRIMITIVE! Ah, yes. Futsal.

The much-hallowed game of 10 sweaty guys simultaneously trying to put a ball into a goal as often as possible, in as many ways as possible. A game I've been playing almost every Sunday for the past 3 years, sometimes even twice on the Lord's Day itself.

Hit it, monkeys!

Life Lesson #1: Sometimes you need to pass the ball backwards in order to move it forward.

How true! So often I've been guilty of getting the ball, searching in vain for someone open in front to give it to, and try desperately to dribble past the entire defence in hope that a scoring chance would magically appear. Of course, almost every time the ball ends up with the opposition.

But lo and behold! A simple backpass, and immediately oodles of space open up. Players start running here and there into position, the opposition fidgets nervously to stick to them, and the guy with the ball can take his time in picking out a great pass.

Just as in life, many times we keep our eyes only on the things and people ahead, trying to keep up with them. And frustratingly fail over and over. When this happens, often it takes just a backpass to open up your mind. You see new options and perspectives, missed when you were focused solely on dribbling past players one by one.

Life Lesson #2: Passers beat dribblers.

It's happened too many times to be coincidential: Pit a team of 5 mediocre players who pass the ball well against a team of 5 skillful but one-man-show players, and the 5 mediocre players will win almost every time.

And unfortunately, life is a team sport. No matter how fast you can run, or how silkily you can weave the ball through everyone else's legs, there is only so much you can do on your own. A pass is the shortest distance from one end of the field to another.

So pass the ball. Even if the other guy is a mediocre player. He just might slip it back to you.

Life Lesson #3: But there are times to go for glory, too. Decide quickly.

So many times I find myself with the ball, wondering, " Who can I pass it to?". Only when the ball has been snatched away due to hesitation do I realise that I was actually close enough to shoot.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you passed or kept the ball for yourself. What matters is that you make the choice quickly. Maybe your teammate will screw up your pass. Maybe your shot will end up as a hilarious miskick. But it sure beats losing the ball before you figured out what to do with it.

Life Lesson #4: People can tell if you really, really want the ball.

I used to play solely as a goalkeeper in high school. On those rare occassions I played outfield, I would naturally fancy myself as a lone striker upfront. However, it dawned upon me that no one would pass the ball to me. No matter how clear I was, they would keep dribbling and look for someone else to pass to.

I could argue that it was because my friends knew I was actually a terrible striker. But strangely, players I was playing with for the first time reacted in the same way.

Eventually, I discovered that I never really wanted the ball in the first place. I was content to stand aside and watch the others do all the hard work, blaming them for any shortcomings. Deep down, whenever they had the chance to pass the ball to me, I was really thinking, "No! No! Don't pass it to me! Please!"

So you see, people know if you're worth the ball. Real goal-getters scream at the top of their lungs and wave madly.

Life Lesson #5: No one remembers who played best. They only remember which team won.

I used to track and compare my weekly personal goalscoring count. At the end of every match, the quality of the game was measured by how well I'd played.

Then one week came, when I scored a grand total of zero goals. Hanging my head dejectedly, I sighed to my friend.

"What's wrong?"

"Duh!" I replied. "I didn't score a single goal."

"Oh, really?"

What? He didn't realise it? Didn't he and everyone else cheer for every goal? How could he have not realise that I didn't score?

But it was the truth. Many times we amass our personal trophies and pedestals, expecting others to lavish us with praise. However, as the title goes, no one remembers the best player. They only remember the best results. Praise is good, but let it not be the single motivator of your life. The best players celebrate when they extend a foot to poke the ball into the net, not when they dribble past 3 players, swirl and hit the post.

...And we're done! The start of a highly marketable series, perhaps?

FINALLY! Writer's Block

Off the record, I would hereby like to publicly state that...

RUMOURS OF MY DEATH IN LANGKAWI ARE COMPLETELY UNTRUE.

I have, in fact, been alive and creaking - as scheduled - four days after my Langkawi escapade.

It has been so, so long since I've written, however.

Written anything that isn't a branding proposal, project timeline, website copy, ad copy or VBS drama. No prizes for guessing my favourite pet project of the past month.

Oh yes...VBS drama was fantastic, utterly fantastic. Believe me, I've never felt so proud of anyone in my life before. Even more so than last year, this year's was a truly by-God's-grace affair. Under-staffed, under-talented, over-rated, over-scripted, expectations galore. You name it, the brilliant Inter class conquered it! Even my own working schedule, where I was allowed only 3 half-days. Meaning I would be there from 9am-9.30am for praise and worship, drive to office from 9.30am-10am, work from 10am-1pm, drive back to church from 1pm-1.30pm, rehearse with the monke..oops, children from 1.30pm-3.30pm, cendol-ise from 3.30pm-4.30pm, drive back to office from 4.30pm-7 something. WAH. LAU. WEH!

Though all seemed doom and gloom for the 3 days of rehearsals, with our main man Clement still doubtful about his lines, everyone - and I mean EVERYONE - was pumped up on steroids on the real day. Those who couldn't sing sang, those who couldn't dance danced, those who couldn't act...well, they looked cute trying. Even two girls playing medics, who stood out to Ju Liang and myself as being terribly uninspired, played their roles with more gusto than I could've mustered myself. Pity they forgot their first aid kits.

Here's to you, Inter Class VBS 2007!

And oh yeah...the Special October Feature.

You know what? Coming soon. =p

When I find the time, AND the resolve.

Vacation Time!

Am going away to Langkawi for 4 days, starting tomorrow.

Not that my dear readers may notice anyway, with the embarassing lack of recent updates.

Guilty, guilty, guilty I plead! Work's been a killer lately. I won't say it's overly draining or anything, just that it takes up too much space in my head. I actually have tons of half-written drafts floating around, of which a small percentage gets filtered through to proper drafts. And from that tiny group, we have another select few which get put to paper. Or keyboard. You get the idea.

Say for instance, my Special October Feature. I already had parts of a slam-bam story "Three Days To Live" drafted, but it's been lying there so long it's grown moldy.

I miss writing stories. I really do! Reading the Twisted Tales hardcover book took me back to a happier place, a much more wonderful time when everything was a story or poem waiting to be told.

All ritey then! 4 days of no creative copy. No A&P proposals. No ads. No WIP meetings. No church. No housestuff. Let's hope the floating words find a cosy spot to settle down and form stories.

Fun stuff I need to think about at Langkawi:

1) What to do for the upcoming TU Pyjamas Nite.
2) A GREAT performance for VBS Graduation Day, by the Intermediate Class. Was officially asked today, not that I needed to be. =p
3) And of course, the overdue Special October Feature!

That's it, kiddos. Stay safe!

Just for kicks, here's 'Ultraman Vs Pikachu', a short nonsensical (you've been warned) film some friends and I made a couple of years back:

Happy Birthday To Me!

Before we proceed, let me first give a big MUAKS and TERIMA KAH-SAY! to all who made my 22nd birthday such a memory. Especially dear Wen Cheng, who was nice enough to make me a printed hardcover version of Twisted Tales Volume 1, to make me feel like an accomplished author. Haha. It's great to syok sendiri!

Now available in hard cover! *smiles in glee*

And check out this back-page excerpt Zhi Yong was so kind to provide:

"C.H. Mok, Daniel is the author of the international best sellers as well as numerous other equally interesting but unequally selling short stories, poems and personal accounts of his life stories that both inspire, amuse and entertain to various degrees.

They are available on the world wide web from his personal web log that draws international criticism and acclaim in equal parts. Although irregularly updated, his readers await with bated breath the next chapter of his 'short' stories, listen adoringly to his poems and eagerly consume accounts of his inspiring life that revolves around... cendol, church and baja hitam.

Ok la... actually that guy ah... very nice wan... although he looks like a clown but inside... is also a clown... deeper inside... his life ambition is to be a clown... if u dig deep enough and reach that small little engine that runs the whole body you find out that it's quite warm inside actually. Yeah, nice and warm. And that's what counts."

Anyone sticking around for Volume 2? =p

Stripped Away

Came across this interesting piece last week to share. Hehe don't worry, it's not that sort of 'interesting piece'. =p

Suggestive as it seems, JC's Girls is in fact a Christian ministry dedicated to spreading the word of God to strippers. Yes, strippers.

How did it start? Heather Veitch, herself a former Vegas exotic dancer and porn actress, left the industry and gave herself to Christ in 1999. Working thereafter as a hairdresser, she became a stay-at-home mother and vowed never to keep in touch with her sinful past.

Then one day, and old friend dropped by and shared about one of Heather's girlfriends, whom she used to work with in the strip club. The poor girl had died recently of alcoholism, with no friends or family. At the time of her death, she was dating a man 40 to 50 years older than herself. The only people she had were her fellow stripper girlfriends. At her funeral, they didn't know what to do and poured alcohol over her grave to remember her. Saddened greatly by such a loveless death, Heather's only thought was, "I could have told her about Jesus."

In an interview, Heather details how she once lived a similar lifestyle of sex, drugs, alcohol and emptiness. Making 1200 to 2000 dollars a night was the norm, at the price of constantly pushing away - in vain - hands of men eager to touch and degrade you. She would purposely perform drunk almost every night to dull such pain away.

"It broke my heart, that I know what it's like for that girl. And because I had turned my back on it, I forgot that all my friends are still there. They were still there, and I left. It was like there was a burning house, and I escaped. The house is still on fire, while my friends are still inside, and I'm not willing to go back inside and try to pull them out."

And how could she carry across this message with impact? Having worked in such joints in the past, Heather deduced that if someone came in, bought her time and only wanted to sit down with her and tell her about God's love, she would have been touched. Maybe she wouldn't have made a change there and then, but there was no way she would forget such an encounter with God.

A burning passion to minister to sexual sinners as Jesus did, she gathered a group of girls from church and made their way to a local strip club. Each of them would choose a girl to buy a private dance from. However, unlike any request the strippers had ever received, all these girls wanted to do was pray for them.

Says Lori Albee, another member of JC's Girls about her first experience approaching a stripper:

"I asked a girl for a dance, and she said yes. This girl was adorable - she looked like any girl on a college campus. We started walking back to the booth and she said, "I've never had a girl ask me to dance before." And I said, "I've never asked a girl to dance before."

We were laughing and building a rapport before we even got to the booth, and once we did, I told her, "I really don't want you to dance for me. We're just here because we love you girls and we want you to know that there's a God out there who loves you, too." And she said, "I cannot believe that girls like you would come to a place like this to tell us about God."

I said, "We just want you to know that if you want God in your life, he's there for you. There's nothing you've ever done that's so bad that he would not forgive you." Her eyes instantly started welling with tears, and she went, "Thank you so much. I keep feeling like I want to go into church, but I feel like I'm going to turn into a pillar of fire."

I told her, "Absolutely not. There is nobody in that church who is better than you are. God wants you as much as he wants anybody." I then asked her if I could pray for her, and she said, "Please, pray for me." Then she grabbed my hand, and I just prayed that she would remember this moment in time when God came to her right where she - and that God would protect her, because she's in a dangerous job. That was really it. It was very simple and short - the length of one song, about three minutes.

Amazingly, the girls have been pretty well-received for evangelists. They stirred up quite a buzz lately at a porn convention in Las Vegas, distributing gift-wrapped Bibles, teaser postcards and T-shirts to visitors. All items were snapped up in short time.

What makes JC's Girls such a success? Respect. Having gone through a similar experience, Heather understands the tremendous judgement women in the sex industry receive from Christians. Therefore, she makes it a point to respect their culture of glamour and physical beauty, earning their trust in return. She never expects them to leave their jobs before being allowed to step into church. Rather, they are encouraged to first develop a relationship with God and gradually let Him take charge of their lives. Most times, instead of ending up feeling morally policed, they experience love, forgiveness and salvation.

"If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he find it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way, your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost." Matthew 18:12-14

God bless you, JC's Girls!

October

Crap.

I swear, last night I dreamt of an ENTIRE story. Cover to cover. No kidding.

When I woke up, I could only remember bits and pieces. A girl, ping pong balls, a floor with wooden planks. And some holes.

By the time I finished brushing my teeth, the only memory left was some girl dropping some balls. Nothing by the time I started up my computer.

It was like Alzheimer's on fast forward.

But trust me, it was a bestseller.

And it's the splendid month of October. Where great things are supposed to happen at Twisted Tales.

Crap.